Feeling lonely

rosie_78

thank you everyone.


I've had a nice day today. I have entered about a million competitions on here then went for a walk to the lake.


now sat feeling at a lose end.


going to check out meets etc and see how I get on

rosie_78

Pyxis wrote: »

Hi Rosie!

I've been thinking. (No, don't laugh!)

You know you like birds? Well, is there by any chance a bird-watching group near you? If there is, that might be a good way of combining your interest in birds with meeting like-minded people, and learning more about the birds in question.

Your turn to think now!

this sounds amazing !! thank you xx xx

Air_Cooled_75

Hi Rosie,

You're just out of an abusive relationship, why not just take a bit of time to do the things you want to do...

Maybe relax in the bath for ages with a good book (or some music and wine)

Watch the telly you want to watch

Eat the food you want to eat

Slob around in your pjs all day eating chocolate

Etc. etc. etc.

I know these things don't address feeling lonely but they can go a bit of the way to just help you to feel yourself again. Those little things you felt you couldn't do before...

Wishing you all the best x

rosie_78

thank you. I know what you mean but it's so hard being inside at night. whilst I'm happy not having to talk to people, just seeing them is nice? does that make sense?


nights are so very hard still and whilst my cpn is good, crisis are great sometimes on the phone, I still just feel that if I had more it would be easier.


I used to love a nice long soak in the bath but the past few years it's mainly been 9 minute showers. never more. "hurry up and dry off. get out bathroom. etc etc".


reading .. I'm getting back into that in a big way.
never really had time. "why are you reading that !!!!? you could really be doing some cleaning?"


so things I used to enjoy, now feel a little foreign to me and make me feel guilty.


i'll take a bath and/or read a book. then feel like I need to punish myself because of doing it.


so messed up lol.


but im getting there. slowly and surely.


CMHT are being amazing at the moment and I have so much to thank them for.

Pyxis

rosie_78 wrote: »

so things I used to enjoy, now feel a little foreign to me and make me feel guilty.
i'll take a bath and/or read a book. then feel like I need to punish myself because of doing it. )

Dear Rosie, please take a look at this video of a crow snowboarding on a roof:-

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yzp7GMRibQ0

Now, why is that crow snowboarding on a roof? Because he discovered he could do it, and he likes doing it.

So, is that crow doing any harm by snowboarding on the roof?
No.

Should that crow be punished for snowboarding on the roof?
No.

Is it ok for him to snowboard on the roof?
Yes!

Is he having fun by snowboarding on the roof?
Yes!

So, is what's good for the crow good for Rosie?
Yes!

So, if you have a long soak in the bath, or sit curled up for ages with a book, that's the Rosie equivalent of the crow snowboarding on the roof!


(Errm, just a thought, please don't you start snowboarding on the roof!)

tayforth

Oh rosie, that is so normal. I was the same after ending my abusive marriage. I felt as if I needed permission to do anything. After walking on eggshells for so long, it's hard to relax in your own home, isn't it?

But this will change, I promise. Remember, you're safe now. And you are deserving of happiness. And part of that is doing things that you enjoy. Everyone deserves to relax and read a book, have a bath, have something nice to eat, have a peaceful sleep, listen to music, gaze out the window at the birds, or whatever you like! So please don't feel guilty at all. Try to think of it as taking back your own time to do as you please. It's freedom. You are free.

I'm glad that crisis and your CPN are helping you.

The bird watching idea is a great one, by the way.

Thank you for thinking of me, double mummy. Insomnia is horrid (I had a short bout of it towards the end of my marriage, but I probably can't even comprehend what it's like to have it long term). Sending you kind thoughts xx

tayforth

Pyxis wrote: »

Dear Rosie, please take a look at this video of a crow snowboarding on a roof:-

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yzp7GMRibQ0

Now, why is that crow snowboarding on a roof? Because he discovered he could do it, and he likes doing it.

So, is that crow doing any harm by snowboarding on the roof?
No.

Should that crow be punished for snowboarding on the roof?
No.

Is it ok for him to snowboard on the roof?
Yes!

Is he having fun by snowboarding on the roof?
Yes!

So, is what's good for the crow good for Rosie?
Yes!

So, if you have a long soak in the bath, or sit curled up for ages with a book, that's the Rosie equivalent of the crow snowboarding on the roof!


(Errm, just a thought, please don't you start snowboarding on the roof!)

This is a brilliant analogy

Blackpool_Saver

After I came out of an abusive relationship I had several different types of counselling which made me realise that my friends were also treating me like !!!!!. Due to my upbringing I had been accepting bad behaviour from many people around me and so they were all dropped. The problem is that now I hardly have any....so I can relate to all this myself, never been the same since, find trusting anyone very hard to do

wouldthisbeodd

I would also recommend meet up, I've joined loads of groups over the last 2 months to make sure I keep busy and always have something different to do, going to the cinema,walks,meals etc. It was a bit daunting at first but I've found everyone makes an effort when you're new to introduce themselves and talk to you, I've met some really nice people and I'm hoping I'll gain some really good friends.

rosie_78

Thank you.
That's a great video


I feel really quite good this morning. Took a walk to Sainsbury and have just had eggs benedict for breakfast. Something I've not had in ages and ages.


Now just about to take a bath. With my kindle. and a nice big glass of OJ.


xx