Heartbroken - just need to talk

tayforth

Sorry for being MIA.

I took a few days out, went offline to clear my head. Through all of this, I've kept up my social life, which I'm glad about as it's forced me to get out of the house and be around people who care about me, and that has helped.

I've realised that you're all completely right. This guy is clearly not a decent person. If he were, (1) he wouldn't have treated me so badly, and (2) he would have paid me his share of the trip without being asked.

Soooo...

I won't contact him again. To ask for the money he owes or for any other reason.

I will go on the trip if I can get a friend to go with me, and we will have a nice time. If not, I will write off the money and forget about it.

I will keep busy and surround myself with friends and family, go out and meet new people and generally get on with my life.

I will take a break from MSE for a week or two, and then I will go back to my old positive thread and let you know how I'm doing.

Thanks for all the moral support, pep talks, wisdom, virtual hugs and sympathy in the last few weeks. You've been wonderful and I really appreciate it.

tayforth

Azmataz wrote: »

tayforth, I've followed your thread since its beginning back in April. Do you not consider that your agony is prolonged by returning to this thread and lingering on the details, most recently with the holiday cost? There's a limit to how cathartic dwelling on it can be.

I'd urge you to draw a line under this thread, have a good month or two away from reminders (i.e. this board in particular) and involve yourself with other things - cross stitch, reading club, spelunking... anything!

It's nigh on impossible to emotionally divest yourself of such an experience when you're regularly involved in dialogue about it.

Yes, this is true. Thank you xx

Alikay wrote: »

By going without him, you'd lose less cash, and still be getting a holiday. Cancel and you'd lose the holiday as well as the cash. If it's a city break, arm yourself with a Rough Guide and go sightseeing, if it's a more relaxing or beachy break, look forward to a few days lying by the pool with a book.

Personally I wouldn't contact him for his share of the cost as it'd mean opening up a dialogue with someone who doesn't deserve a moment more of your time, and the chances of getting the money from him are virtually nil anyway. Go and enjoy yourself, and if you can't actually enjoy it, at least you'll be miserable somewhere lovely!

Thanks, Alikay. I hope to go, and I will do my best to enjoy it as well. Otherwise it will be a waste of money!

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Tay I am going to be harsh now but this 'after' has been going on almost as long as the 'during'. Yes you met a player. Yes he played you for money as well as emotions. But you have to move on.

Go on the holiday - I went to new york on my own after a friend's brother decided he was having a surprise wedding that weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. You have to stop moping about and be more wary of people. Give yourself some time after your marriage to be on your own and enjoy your own company. This is not a healthy way to live.

Thanks, FBR. You're right, I can't let it drag me down.

Good for you going away on your own.

tayforth

jackieblack wrote: »

a bit off topic but, on my way to Tesco this morning, I noticed that the car behind me had the numberplate TAY 4

Awww, thank you for telling me, jackieblack, that made me smile I wish it were my numberplate!

Slinky wrote: »

I wouldn't ask him for the money, and I wouldn't go on the holiday either. Given how long this has been dragging on now (remember, do not let this person live rent free in your mind for the rest of your life), you'd spend the holiday thinking about that you should have been doing things there with him.


Write it off, stop thinking about him or the money or the holiday and find something more positive to focus on.

justjohn wrote: »

just go on holiday with your friend enjoy yourself and relax.

I'll have a think about it, but either way I will be positive.

If I go, I'll have a good time with my friend.

If I don't, I'll waste no more time thinking about what might have been.

Primrose

I think you probably needed an offline break and am glad you've managed to come to a decision about your way forward. I hope you will now be able to move forward slowly, look back and put it down to experience. Keep up the good positive attitude with the other things in your life and hopefully in a few months time you'll be able to take a more detached view of what has happened.

jackieblack

tayforth wrote: »

Sorry for being MIA.

I took a few days out, went offline to clear my head. Through all of this, I've kept up my social life, which I'm glad about as it's forced me to get out of the house and be around people who care about me, and that has helped.

I've realised that you're all completely right. This guy is clearly not a decent person. If he were, (1) he wouldn't have treated me so badly, and (2) he would have paid me his share of the trip without being asked.

Soooo...

I won't contact him again. To ask for the money he owes or for any other reason.

I will go on the trip if I can get a friend to go with me, and we will have a nice time. If not, I will write off the money and forget about it.

I will keep busy and surround myself with friends and family, go out and meet new people and generally get on with my life.

I will take a break from MSE for a week or two, and then I will go back to my old positive thread and let you know how I'm doing.

Thanks for all the moral support, pep talks, wisdom, virtual hugs and sympathy in the last few weeks. You've been wonderful and I really appreciate it.

It certainly sounds like the time away has done you good .
Happy to hear you've cleared your head and now sound like the Tayforth we've got to know (over the last year or so on your other thread) again.
Time to draw a line under this episode and continue moving forward again and you sound like you're ready to do that now.

spender

Just wanted to make sure you are ok, I sent you a PM but you have too many in your inbox.

Hope that you are slowly turning the corner to a better happier life

Primrose

Another one here who is hoping the sun and the summer is having a restorative effect on you.

purpleshoes_2

I also hope the OP is ok, spoke to her regularly off the boards for some time, but havent heard from her in a few weeks and she hasnt been on here since either.

Stephb1986_2

I hope she's okay and just enjoying herself somewhere nice after all she deserves it!

Robinette

Perhaps she has moved on and does not want to revisit this thread. Hopefully she is in a good place, feeling happy and contented.