Does everyone have friends?

Primrose

There,s s saying that if you want to have a friend, you have to BE a friend so why not try looking it things from the opposite angle and trying to be a friend to other people. It doesn't matter if people are not in your own age group. Just try chatting to people wherever you come across them - in the supermarket, travelling to work, etc about topics you're interested in or what's in the news headlines. You have to start somewhere, and the more you try it, the more relaxed you will get at it.

Also possibly think about becoming a visiting friend for an orgsnisation like Age Concern where you visit an elderly person living alone for a cup of tea and a chat once a week. You will get to see and different perspective on life. Visit your local library f you have one nearby. They will generally have a list of local organisations, some of which might elicit your interest. How about a walking group, learning to dance (men are always in short supply so you should be popular), singing in a choir or local voluntary groups. You don,t say what your interests are. If you like reading your local library may have a book reading group or run a chess club, or if young,ay cards, how about a bridge group.

You do sound as f you have a lot of long term emotipionsl difficulties to wrestle with so keep in touch with your GP and sticks to any medication. And I'd you are depressed, don,t forget that gentle exercise will help, even if it,s just walking. Are there any neighbour's dogs who need walking. A dog can be a good companion, especially if you don,t have to pay the vet's bIlls for it!

LondonGal

I can really feel for your situation. The few close friends I have are well over 150 miles away for the nearest one. However, during a period of severe depression I met my wife and daughter and they have been a God send. I no longer work as the medics won't let me (or I no longer do paid work - nor do I claim any benefits), but I have my house and wife and daughter. I also have a dog who is a brilliant firend, and having a pet should not be underestimated in terms of relieving personal stresses, nor in terms of being a vehicle for meeting other people.

After years of psychiatric care and being in and out of mental hospitals I saw a psychologist at my request, and this has led to two diagnoses, one neurological and the other is the Aspergers which can trigger the neurological one. It did tonight in fact and I was 'rescued' by a complete stranger as happens most times when this rare condition is triggered. Most people are kind and well intentioned, we tend to hear only about the baddies.

You've had loads of good advice and suggestions, whatever you choose keep us informed and good luck! :beer:

Oh yes, I was going to say the issue of people being nice to you is very important. You may find there is a reason going back which explains this, or it could just be force of circumstance has led to you feeling almost a need to be reassured and liked. Given what you've bravely shared, that is perfectly natural. Again, don't think you're odd or different, there's hundreds around like you, myself included. It is always better to feel cared for and loved than unwanted.

mrsHall2b

SailorSam wrote: »

I'm surprised if you're only in your early 20s that you're not still in touch with the friends you made in school.

im 23 and dont talk to anyone from school, i talk to one girl who i made friends with when pregnant as our daughters are the same age but thats it. once you leave school a lot of people realise that actually you dont fit in with your school group any more. i dont know many people who still see or speak to school friends. i know it happens and alot of life long friendships are made that way but i believe now people put up so much of a pretence in school that once you leave its too much effort.

sorry OP nothing much to add, i only really have my OH & children, i text the girl i mentioned above but havnt actually seen her in almost 2 years despite living 15-20 minutes away.

PasturesNew

Not everybody has friends. I've never really had them as they're more interested in their own families - there aren't many people who are footloose and fancy free. Even joining groups, you find everybody just talks about their OH/kids and rushes off to be with them - and if you try to arrange any days out they're more interested in talking about their family and why they can't go out for a whole day, or have to be back for some reason etc etc.