First few dates etiquette

Cloudydaze

As a serial dater, I always make the offer to pay. I reckon about 15% of the time, the guy will accept my offer.

I don't mind paying my way and certainly don't take it for granted.

However, I will admit that the guys who pay do get ticks in the generous and good manners boxes!

Stevie_Palimo

Every date I have ever had I never would accept anything from a woman despite the good few offers of splitting a bill, I personally think it is wrong to even consider it but hey that is just my own personal opinion.


I have been shocked by some responses as and when I have paid from women in the past ranging from this has never happened and I don't think it is fare a man should be expected to pay, I do so because I choose to and not because I feel forced into it.

InsideInsurance

VestanPance wrote: »

Possibly depends on age, but any of the younger people I know (35 or younger) expect to go dutch on dates.

Not sure its purely age, though it may be more common in the younger age groups. I know I fit into your younger people (thanks) but wouldnt be thinking of going dutch.

My colleague however is 20 years past your young definition and whilst I dont know the age of the people she dates I'd assume that as a rule they dont fit into the definition but they are wanting to go dutch (supposedly one even pointed out she had some of his chips so charged her part of the cost of a portion)

hazyjo

First date - I would offer, but expect him to pay.

I would pay for something for the second. Lunch, tickets, whatever.

Third, should IMO be comfortable enough to know you want to date and continue with taking it in turns or whover invites to something pays.

Even a bloke at work I used to lunch with never used to split a bill with me (I too hate that). We'd just take it in turns to pay.

If you think someone's taken the pee with drinks, even it up. Head to a bar/pub and say 'just nipping to the loo, you get the first round in' and then make sure they pay for the last. Job done.

Jx

hayley11

I think he sounds a bit of an idiot. I'd probably tell him to get lost if I were your sister.

My boyfriend and I take it in turns to pay but we don't really keep track of it. On our first date, we just went somewhere casual and he paid for the food (but I only had a bowl of chips because I was too nervous to eat anything proper haha) and then I paid for some drinks.

I wouldn't ever expect somebody to pay for me, even on a first date. I'd be more than happy to pay for myself or both of us.

Slinky

I'd kick him into touch personally.

hazyjo

hazyjo wrote: »

First date - I would offer, but expect him to pay.

PS That only applies to dinner. If drinks, alternate rounds are fine

trolleyrun

He does sound like a miser. I wouldn't want to spend time with someone like that. Not because I don't want to pay, but as he's been told what the situation is and still refuses to pay this time, I'd be seriously annoyed and wonder what else would show further down the line.

Ransoman

I didn't think I was old fashioned. Male, 28, I would always expect to pay for the first date.

The first girl i went out with refused to let me pay. Fair enough but splitting the bill on every date did my head in.

ScrimpingandSaving

I'm a feminist too and I would fully expect to pay my way. If a man insisted on paying for a meal (as sometimes friends do or relations) then I would back down but I would equally insist on buying at least one round of drinks in.

I would never pay for a meal for a date. Perhaps friends and family but not a date. I would expect him to go halves with me and by that I don't mean him insisting he only had the pasta, one glass of wine, etc. I would split the bill equally no matter who had what.

I don't mind buying drinks for people. I equally don't mind if people hold the door open for me - I do the same.

My mantra is to treat people as I would wish to be treated myself.

This guy sounds like he's just a !!!!!!!!!! who likes getting free meals. He may well have other women he goes out with who also buy him his meals.

To save any further confusion I would advise your sister to be upfront before the next date and say that she's happy to split the bill if they were to go for a meal.

It's strange but I can't imagine actually having a date. The boyfriends I've had all started off as friends, so we were already comfortable with each other. I don't suppose this is possible for your sister? Does she go out often with friends? Could you invite her out?