First few dates etiquette

VestanPance

Possibly depends on age, but any of the younger people I know (35 or younger) expect to go dutch on dates.

I've heard the odd story of guys being told they're being insulting to the lady by offering to pay.

That said the guy in the OP's story just sounds like a waster, as while some guys would offer to pay and some guys will expect to go dutch I've never heard of a guy that expects the woman to be the one to fork out.

Indie_Kid

I'd expect the inviter to pay. Someone did ask me out and I asked who'd pay - as much as I would have loved him to pay, it would have been wrong to expect it. He agreed to pay.

He asked me out again, turned up and then said "sorry, I've got no money". Whilst I had no problem paying, I wasn't too happy that I had to pay because he had no money.

tillyenna

The Boss always pays whenever we go out - I've never dated a man who doesn't pay for ALL dates. That being said, I'm really traditional in that matter (and refuse to look at the bill :-P) I've got friends who are married and who split the bill between them - I think it varies from person to person.

Tixy

I would always approach a first date expecting to pay half (and would never turn up without enough money/cards to pay the whole lot if required).

I would generally expect a guy to buy the first round of drinks on a first date. Its not a big deal to me if they don't, but I think it is usual to.

If the guy tried to insist on paying for the meal I might let them if I thought I would date them again (if I was going to say no to a further date I would definitely insist on paying half though, don't want them thinking they are owed anything from me).

For subsequent dates - dutch or preferably take it in turns to pay.

dandelionclock30

Lets face it shes not going to end up with him is she if hes behaving like this now so theres no point her going to meet him now anyway. If she went out with him another time, he would say that he left his wallet at home or it fell down the toilet etc.

daisiegg

My husband pays for most 'dates' and certainly always did while we were dating. I was still a student and used to splitting bills down to the penny, whereas he was older and financially solvent, and actually insulted when I wanted to pay my way (mainly because I could not afford it whereas he could). I soon learned!

Once we went on a date to a very fancy restaurant - can't remember if it was before or after we were married - and I was given a special menu with no prices on it, whereas his had prices! I'm sure some people would be horrified but we just found it amusing and charming.

System

To be honest, you don't always have to pay on dates. Whats up with a kiss and a cuddle in front of telly? Or a snuggle on a blanket on the ground by the river?

Going to the pictures would do nothing for me. Neither would a meal in a posh restaurant.

I'd be a cheap date I think.

sweetme

Judi wrote: »

To be honest, you don't always have to pay on dates. Whats up with a kiss and a cuddle in front of telly? Or a snuggle on a blanket on the ground by the river?


Going to the pictures would do nothing for me. Neither would a meal in a posh restaurant.

That's all good for future dates, but if my first date with a man was an offer to snuggle on a blanket on the ground by the river, I think I'd pass!

aileth

daisiegg wrote: »

My husband pays for most 'dates' and certainly always did while we were dating. I was still a student and used to splitting bills down to the penny, whereas he was older and financially solvent, and actually insulted when I wanted to pay my way (mainly because I could not afford it whereas he could). I soon learned!

This is quite similar to me and my husband. He paid for the first date, we got talking a lot and learning about each other, he was in a much poorer situation than I was, I was just getting ready to leave home, so still paying fairly low rent, with a decent stable job, whereas he was having to pay two mortgages (took him forever to sort ancillary relief from ex-marriage) and his ex-boss was ripping him off as it turns out by about four grand a year minimum.

Most of the time I paid for the majority of things, which I had absolutely no issue with as I knew he wasn't a free loader or taking the pee. When we talked about it years later, he said he felt a little 'demasculinated' but the situation worked well.

Nowadays whoever earns the biggest bonus takes the other out for dinner that month :rotfl:

System

sweetme wrote: »

That's all good for future dates, but if my first date with a man was an offer to snuggle on a blanket on the ground by the river, I think I'd pass!

Very true.