Has my ex done something wrong?

POPPYOSCAR

nat21luv wrote: »

Im not one of those mums that put barriers in the way regarding access, quite the opposite. My ex was violent and had no interest in our son for many years and so the GPs made up for where their son lacked. I encouraged this and also encouraged my ex to see our son but he would turn up hours late, hungover, drunk or not at all. Obviously this upset my son but I still pushed for the relationship hoping that my ex would mature one day and be the father my son needs. This has happened but now hes taken it to the extreme and wants my son to live with him (and tells him that he can leave home in a few years and live with him)


Only in the last 4 years that my ex has stepped up but its been a slow process. The GPs have made it no secret that they want my son and now their son is behaving, they feel like they are in a position to make that happen. For years I put their relationship with my son above mine as I felt guilty for not giving my son the father he deserves. It was last year I cut down on some of the time my son spent with his GPs as our relationship was suffering and my son felt like an outsider, he said I loved my daughter more than him and he wanted to be with me more. the GPs were seeing him every Friday night, Saturday and then through to his dad on sundays plus dad had half of school hols. I changed it to one whole weekend a month just with the GPs and then sundays with dad plus half of school hols. My ex is now asking for lengthy weekends every week, Wednesdays overnight every week and half of school hols.


I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing for a relationship with the ex and his family, I almost wish I hadn't tried so hard.

Am I right in saying you have already been to court recently? if so what happened?

POPPYOSCAR

duchy wrote: »

I read it as the extra time he is asking for gives her and her son almost no quality time together (must admit I'd not be willingly giving time to grandparents who tried to set SS on me though)

Yes I can see that now from her latest post. Every weekend is not fair and as her son does not want to go so often, that is understandable.

Yes she must be furious with SS becoming involved but it must be to her advantage that she can present this to the court as mischief making by the ex.

The Op seemed to be looking for ammunition in the way of the ex doing something 'illegal' by leaving their son with his grandparents which it obviously is not.

I still do not think the court will be particularly swayed by this. Of more importance surely would be the effect on their son by never having a weekend with his mother and sister.

GobbledyGook

Every weekend is an utterly unreasonable request. So one parent gets to do all the washing, all the school runs and all the nagging over homework and the other one gets to do all the trips to the zoo, to the seaside, to visit relatives etc.

It actually shows a real lack of consideration for the child. When are his opportunities to spend quality family time with his mother and sister, when does he see his mother's family etc.

Dasa

If you wanted to spend more quality time with your boy, why go on holiday without him? Just wondering.

nat21luv

I was given an opportunity to visit my sister who had been travelling for 1.5yrs, so I did.

Dasa

Couldn't you have taken him as well? Did you take your daughter?

nat21luv

No, I travelled alone to Sri Lanka. Not the kind of place to go on a family holiday and also, it was during school term. My DD stayed with her dad for the whole duration.

Dasa

nat21luv wrote: »

No, I travelled alone to Sri Lanka. Not the kind of place to go on a family holiday and also, it was during school term. My DD stayed with her dad for the whole duration.

So you didn't ask your ex to look after your boy as he could have stayed with his sister and his step-dad but his dad asked if he could have him while you were away?

nat21luv

Dasa wrote: »

So you didn't ask your ex to look after your boy as he could have stayed with his sister and his step-dad but his dad asked if he could have him while you were away?

No, I did. I asked but told him I could postpone or find someone else. He was adamant he would have him and begged me, even when I suggested changing the dates to a half term, he said it was fine and that HE would have him and take/collect from school.

Dasa

Im confused. Why did you ask him, why didn't you leave him at home with his sister and step-dad? Did your boy ask to go stay with his dad?

Can't see the judge making anything of being left with grandparents for a few days when you asked him to look after your boy.