Has my ex done something wrong?

nat21luv

rpc wrote: »

Or perhaps both parents cannot be away from home at the same time lest their child be left to suffer while a hospital searches for a signature?

.

This is what I heard and why I ask, would there have been implications eg; SS involvement if we were both abroad? A friend of a friend is Cabin Crew and her husband a Pilot and supposedly, neither of them are allowed to be out of the country at the same time as they have children. I don't know if there is any truth in this or why?

GobbledyGook

nat21luv wrote: »

This is what I heard and why I ask, would there have been implications eg; SS involvement if we were both abroad? A friend of a friend is Cabin Crew and her husband a Pilot and supposedly, neither of them are allowed to be out of the country at the same time as they have children. I don't know if there is any truth in this or why?

That's more likely to be a company procedure than anything else.

Even if a hospital raised a query with SS there would have been no implications of leaving your child with fully capable grandparents - people do it all the time.

Now had your ex left your child with drug addled, alcoholic grandparents with a tendency to child abuse then you'd be looking at a different issue.... In the vast majority of cases children are fine being looked after by grandparents (and if you think about it not really any different to your child being taken on holiday by grandparents which is common).

Not telling you was rude and disrespectful, but try and resist falling into the trap of WW3 with him. If he wants to make himself look daft with spurious accusations to SS then let him.

nat21luv

Trust me, im trying my very best to just ride the wave but im representing myself in court and he has a solicitor so I would be foolish not to cover all bases and know where I stand.


Id much rather this wasn't happening and I pushed for mediation but hes adamant he wants to take it further. Like you say, its my boy whos suffering

GobbledyGook

nat21luv wrote: »

Trust me, im trying my very best to just ride the wave but im representing myself in court and he has a solicitor so I would be foolish not to cover all bases and know where I stand.


Id much rather this wasn't happening and I pushed for mediation but hes adamant he wants to take it further. Like you say, its my boy whos suffering

Definitely cover all of the bases.

He's harming his own case as well so take a little comfort from that. All those things will add up (refusing mediation won't go down well - even I got frowned at for refusing mediation and my MIL's access bid was practically laughed out of court) and will show.

Keep yourself right all the time. Do you keep a diary? It can be very useful. I don't mean a minute-by-minute guide, but one specific to your contact with your ex. Keeping a record of everything really helped me in court, especially with confidence.

securityguy

nat21luv wrote: »

This is what I heard and why I ask, would there have been implications eg; SS involvement if we were both abroad? A friend of a friend is Cabin Crew and her husband a Pilot and supposedly, neither of them are allowed to be out of the country at the same time as they have children. I don't know if there is any truth in this or why?

If you start from the assumption that "you can't do (whatever) because of social services" is always !!!!!!!!, you won't go far wrong.

There are plenty of children in this country in boarding schools while both parents are overseas. There are plenty of children living with grandparents, aunts, uncles, informal fostering arrangements, whatever, while both their parents are overseas. The claim is nonsense. It would mean that every couple who ever left their children with a set of grandparents in order to have a romantic weekend away would be breaking the law.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

No, he didn't do anything wrong. But it's not particularly ethical.

I look after my boyfriend's little girl occasionally. His XGF doesn't have a problem with that. Or with my 14 year old babysitting for a couple of hours. But he wouldn't go away overnight and leave her with me, even though the XGF would probably be fine about it.

Mind you, I got left with his XGF's spare keys and she'd been told where to find me if she needed them. She trusts him to make good decisions where their daughter is concerned.


I think it's something to mention, but not to make a huge hoo-ha about.

bluenoseam

nat21luv wrote: »

Trust me, im trying my very best to just ride the wave but im representing myself in court and he has a solicitor so I would be foolish not to cover all bases and know where I stand.


Id much rather this wasn't happening and I pushed for mediation but hes adamant he wants to take it further. Like you say, its my boy whos suffering

Hate to have to put it like this, but you've already been foolish enough by representing yourself in court - don't make the same mistake again & rectify that mistake as soon as possible. I understand that may be a financial decision, but most lawyers will have you for breakfast.

From my viewpoint he should have intimated that he'd be out of the country, sorry going to the Philipines isn't really a "Davie any chance you can cover my shift in Manilla tomorrow?" situation. If he'd known he was out of the country then he cannot in good faith agree to take care of his child, regardless as to who he's leaving him with & their relationship to him. I know my viewpoint carries little to no weight, but lets be fair, he's known weeks, if not months ahead of time that he was being sent abroad.

peachyprice

nat21luv wrote: »

This is what I heard and why I ask, would there have been implications eg; SS involvement if we were both abroad? A friend of a friend is Cabin Crew and her husband a Pilot and supposedly, neither of them are allowed to be out of the country at the same time as they have children. I don't know if there is any truth in this or why?

That will be the company policy of the airline, not a legal standpoint.

How do you think it works for parents who aren't separated when they go on holiday together leaving their children with grandparents?

trolleyrun

nat21luv wrote: »

This is what I heard and why I ask, would there have been implications eg; SS involvement if we were both abroad? A friend of a friend is Cabin Crew and her husband a Pilot and supposedly, neither of them are allowed to be out of the country at the same time as they have children. I don't know if there is any truth in this or why?

I'd say there's no truth in this. I've never heard of such a thing and I work for an airline.

I don't really have any advice about your situation, but your ex really should've let you know he was leaving the country as well. I'd imagine that as a parent you'd want to know where your child is.

sulkisu

I don't think that he did anything wrong. Like you, he has PR and like you, he left his child in the care of responsible adults. Presumably if something had happened, his parents would have been able to contact him. It would have been the same scenario if you and he had gone away together and left your child with grandparents or other relatives, as many do.


I do think that he was wrong not to tell you (as the mother) that he was planning to go away, however I also feel that NRP should be able to do things and make decisions/choices that PWC do, when their children are with them.