Has my ex done something wrong?

peachyprice

Mojisola wrote: »

nat21luv says he would have known.

Their son may have enjoyed the week with his grandparents but that doesn't change the fact that his father could have spent the week with his son if he'd arranged it differently.

It seems strange to go to court saying you want more time with your child and then be away working when the son is there.

Unfortunately we only have one side of the story.

It could well have been a case of the father being damned if he did tell her he was going to have to work part of the time she was away, damned if he didn't. At least he got to spend some of the 10 days OP was on holiday with his son.

POPPYOSCAR

Mojisola wrote: »

nat21luv says he would have known.

Their son may have enjoyed the week with his grandparents but that doesn't change the fact that his father could have spent the week with his son if he'd arranged it differently.

It seems strange to go to court saying you want more time with your child and then be away working when the son is there.

OK.

But the OP does not know for certain and it may be her word against his.

I cannot see the court entertaining this as being an issue. The mother went on holiday, the father looked after son and he was in the care of his grandparents for part of that time.

neverdespairgirl

nat21luv wrote: »

When I say Im representing myself I mean solicitors are helping out with paperwork and writing statements ect but Im alone in the court. I just cant afford anymore help and my solicitor was very honest and said that if I employed someone under a grand to help in court, then I may as well just do it myself.

How long is the hearing listed for? 1 day? More or less time than that?

POPPYOSCAR

OP is there a reason you do not want him to have your son more often?

How much time is he asking for?

mountainofdebt

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

OP is there a reason you do not want him to have your son more often?

How much time is he asking for?

Or why she doesn't want the son to spend any more time with the grandparents (as I understand it that's the reason for the extra access being sought)

POPPYOSCAR

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Or why she doesn't want the son to spend any more time with the grandparents (as I understand it that's the reason for the extra access being sought)

Yes.

Although has he actually given that as a reason or is the OP surmising?

I would be surprised if he was presenting that to the court.

couponqueen123

nat21luv wrote: »

This is what I heard and why I ask, would there have been implications eg; SS involvement if we were both abroad? A friend of a friend is Cabin Crew and her husband a Pilot and supposedly, neither of them are allowed to be out of the country at the same time as they have children. I don't know if there is any truth in this or why?

the above is rubbish as parents often go away with out kids iv done it and nanny had the kids i was away for week and if they needed medical care my mum could have sorted it she even took my dd for injections (i was at work that day)

if your son needed any medical care urgently he would receive it just as if u had a crash and were not conscious then they just treat your child i know this as iv had this happen

yes he should have told you but i think he didnt as he wanted kis parents to see the child and you would have said no?

how much acsess dose he have /his parents.?

nat21luv

Im not one of those mums that put barriers in the way regarding access, quite the opposite. My ex was violent and had no interest in our son for many years and so the GPs made up for where their son lacked. I encouraged this and also encouraged my ex to see our son but he would turn up hours late, hungover, drunk or not at all. Obviously this upset my son but I still pushed for the relationship hoping that my ex would mature one day and be the father my son needs. This has happened but now hes taken it to the extreme and wants my son to live with him (and tells him that he can leave home in a few years and live with him)


Only in the last 4 years that my ex has stepped up but its been a slow process. The GPs have made it no secret that they want my son and now their son is behaving, they feel like they are in a position to make that happen. For years I put their relationship with my son above mine as I felt guilty for not giving my son the father he deserves. It was last year I cut down on some of the time my son spent with his GPs as our relationship was suffering and my son felt like an outsider, he said I loved my daughter more than him and he wanted to be with me more. the GPs were seeing him every Friday night, Saturday and then through to his dad on sundays plus dad had half of school hols. I changed it to one whole weekend a month just with the GPs and then sundays with dad plus half of school hols. My ex is now asking for lengthy weekends every week, Wednesdays overnight every week and half of school hols.


I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing for a relationship with the ex and his family, I almost wish I hadn't tried so hard.

duchy

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

How so?

If I understand it correctly the OP asked him to look after their son while she was on holiday.

He did not request to spend that time with him did he?

I'm not seeing that- according to the OP he asked for that week.

Post 9

nat21luv wrote: »

If I had known he was out of the country too then I would have postponed the holiday. He begged me to have him even though his work is booked far in advance so he would have known he wouldnt be around, probably so social workers would have had access to my son with his family present.

Doesn't sound like the week was at the PWC's instigation to me -more that she arranged the holiday for herself after the week was asked for and arranged. Rubbish parenting on his part to allow the child to think he'd be spending a week with Dad (and Mum no doubt bigging up the time with Daddy thing as she didn't know) and then dumping the kid on grandparents. Seems he doesn't get that access is meant to be time spent WITH his child rather than time he "owns" to give away. That's something I'd hope the OP's solicitor highlights.

I'm not surprised SS had no problem with a short walk home and a short period alone once a week - He's ten -odds are within the year he'll be a high school and travelling independently daily. It could even be argued that it's a good transition rather than dropping it all on him in one go in September.

Recovering alcoholic, with parents who do more caring than he does and lets his kid down by promising him a week together and doesn't tell him he's going abroad instead and a history of letting the child down in the past-against a mother who works to support them both, chooses to work around his school hours so she's home when he is mostly and has given him consistency and security. I think he's dreaming if he thinks he'd get custody !!

duchy

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

OP is there a reason you do not want him to have your son more often?

How much time is he asking for?

I read it as the extra time he is asking for gives her and her son almost no quality time together (must admit I'd not be willingly giving time to grandparents who tried to set SS on me though)