Wife accused of cheating, denies it...

heartbreak_star

Definitely agree that the problem here is the utterly toxic SiL.

Shame you can't choose your family, eh? Think you'll just have to ignore her instead.

Good luck, I really hope you can put the irrational thoughts aside as I think you've had a very strong marriage till this nasty creature got involved.

HBS x

Mojisola

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Definitely agree that the problem here is the utterly toxic SiL.

Shame you can't choose your family, eh?

His brother chose her.

heartbreak_star

Mojisola wrote: »

His brother chose her.

True, sadly, now I think on

HBS x

nebakanezer

That's the thing, I've never checked my wife's phone, had to check where she is, had any suspicions whatsoever, and I'm not about to start, we have no secrets or anything of the sort

Pollycat

nebakanezer wrote: »

That's the thing, I've never checked my wife's phone, had to check where she is, had any suspicions whatsoever, and I'm not about to start, we have no secrets or anything of the sort

Then why are you believing your SIL then?

TBH, if you didn't have posting history prior to starting this thread, I would think you were a troll as I find your whole attitude to this situation to be pretty incomprehensible.

thorsoak

nebakanezer wrote: »

Contrary to how I may have come across, I care deeply for my wife, love her with all my heart, have always treated her with the utmost respect, and love her now more than ever. I have tried my best to support her through this, but at times failed to control my own feelings.

This kind of thing doesn't fall at your door every day, thank god, so I have made mistakes on how best to deal with it, in hindsight I would've done things differently.

I'm a soft hearted caring person, and for the last 13 years it has been a good thing, and something my wife loved me for, but it's perhaps my softness that has allowed this situation to get the better of me, hopefully not for too long though.

So now the thread is about justifying your actions in allowing yourself to doubt your wife? I thought you were going to close it and were going to ask admin to delete it?

Just move on - and hope your wife forgives you - or in a few months you are going to be back here writing "my wife has left me after I disbelieved her when she said that she was not having affairs - so I was right to mistrust her".

nebakanezer

Can mods please delete this thread now, or let me know what I need to do? Thanks everyone!

VestanPance

Personally I trust nobody on this planet but myself.

The truth of the matter is that if you trusted your wife you'd have laughed off these accusations. The fact you didn't either means like me you don't trust people at all/have trust issues, or something about what you've been told rings true to you. A lot of people call that instinct! Funnily enough I don't think the ladies earlier on in this thread claiming nights out flirting with strangers before returning home to their loved one would have been glossed over so much had the sexes been reversed. I'm pretty sure that behavior of seeking compliments from the opposite sex coming from a man would be seen as very disrespectful/psychological abuse, not harmless fun.

All in if you have trust issues and can't resolve them (be the accusations true or false) the chances are your marriage is over already. If you think you can resolve them you need to be sure that's the case and that you don't let it eat away at you every single time your wife heads off on a night out without you.

nebakanezer

My wife has been out since and I didn't have a problem, so I guess instinctively I do still trust her, just didn't realise it entirely until now

Pollycat

VestanPance wrote: »

Personally I trust nobody on this planet but myself.

The truth of the matter is that if you trusted your wife you'd have laughed off these accusations. The fact you didn't either means like me you don't trust people at all/have trust issues, or something about what you've been told rings true to you. A lot of people call that instinct! Funnily enough I don't think the ladies earlier on in this thread claiming nights out flirting with strangers before returning home to their loved one would have been glossed over so much had the sexes been reversed. I'm pretty sure that behavior of seeking compliments from the opposite sex coming from a man would be seen as very disrespectful/psychological abuse, not harmless fun.

All in if you have trust issues and can't resolve them (be the accusations true or false) the chances are your marriage is over already. If you think you can resolve them you need to be sure that's the case and that you don't let it eat away at you every single time your wife heads off on a night out without you.

What posts are you referring to?

I can't see anyone saying they go out flirting with strangers.

I have seen one post from someone who says she has a laugh with (male) mates at the pub but that's clearly not strangers.
And another post from someone who suggests it's good to go out without their partners but nothing about flirting with strangers.
There's one post about 'flirty men' but nothing about flirting back.

Are we reading the same thread?