Wife accused of cheating, denies it...

nebakanezer

itsanne wrote: »

I haven't posted because it's all been said already, but this hasn't been answered.

DON'T DO IT!

. . . and delete her text now, not at the end of the thread.

Done, and inappropriate I agree

Mojisola

nebakanezer wrote: »

I was waiting for that, I meant as well the problems it's caused for the whole family, stress for my mum and dad, my relationship with my brother, my nieces etc etc

But if you hadn't let it get blown up out of all proportion, it wouldn't have affected all these people.

SIL spreads her gossip, you and your wife talk, she says it's all lies, you trust her and drop the subject.

dancingfairy

Seriously the SIL is obviously toxic. You need to distance yourself from her. I think you need counselling to work on your self esteem/paranoia. Your wife loves you, she wants to be with you. From what you've said she's not cheating on you but you SIL is preying on your insecurities and knows exactly how to push your buttons
You need to get some help to overcome this or even if she hasn't had an affair you will end up loosing her. Please get some help before you push her away.
df

nebakanezer

Mojisola wrote: »

But if you hadn't let it get blown up out of all proportion, it wouldn't have affected all these people.

SIL spreads her gossip, you and your wife talk, she says it's all lies, you trust her and drop the subject.

If only it were as easy as that, my SIL just wouldn't let it go

Hermia

nebakanezer wrote: »

If only it were as easy as that, my SIL just wouldn't let it go

If you had said "I am not listening to this and if you keep talking I will put the phone down/walk away" every time the SIL started and you actually followed through she would have got bored. If people don't get a reaction they will eventually give up.

Mojisola

nebakanezer wrote: »

If only it were as easy as that, my SIL just wouldn't let it go

But you don't have to participate in her games.

If she phones you and starts saying things, put the phone down.

If you meet her and she starts saying things, say - either change the subject or we're leaving.

If she carries on saying thing to other people and they make comments to you, say something like - there's something not quite right with her at the moment, we're just ignoring her lies - and change the subject.

nebakanezer

Hermia wrote: »

If you had said "I am not listening to this and if you keep talking I will put the phone down/walk away" every time the SIL started and you actually followed through she would have got bored. If people don't get a reaction they will eventually give up.

I did, but her sister phoned my wife, her dad phoned my mum etc etc...

Mojisola

nebakanezer wrote: »

I did, but her sister phoned my wife, her dad phoned my mum etc etc...

And you carried on badgering your wife and discussing it with all these other people!

nebakanezer

One morning (bearing in mind both her and her father have had affairs) she text my wife saying that her and her dad thought my wife was disgusting?!?

Mojisola

nebakanezer wrote: »

One morning (bearing in mind both her and her father have had affairs) she text my wife saying that her and her dad thought my wife was disgusting?!?

So why didn't your wife just delete it?

You are choosing to respond to your SIL's taunts and are keeping the whole thing going.