Long term singleton

ska_lover

PasturesNew wrote: »

The sort of people who would judge/question it aren't the sort of people you'd want to mix with, or care yourself about their opinions...... small-minded smug people have usually "settled" for the sort of sub-standard species that singletons of long-standing have been knocking back for years as they are so inadequate they can't bear to be alone.

I disagree with the first part of your post - questioning anything that makes you as an individual feel uneasy, makes perfect sense. When it comes to affairs of the heart, who would want to get mixed up with someone who has 'issues' that only come to light later on?

There are many people about who are single who DO have issues that make them unsuitable partners :- violence, addicts, still hung up on their ex, commitment phobes, users, high maintenance, selfish, the list goes on of issues that would make most people run a mile

It would be naïve IMO to take a stranger at face value, the person MIGHT be a weirdo, they are about, you know. There are many where I live haha!

I think that is good common sense to be wary and not rush into anything, and walk into situations with your eyes open.

ska_lover

Indie_Kid wrote: »

At the time I was about 20. They seemed to imply that if I didn't find someone now, I never would. They were also talking about me having children and stuff. I have friends who met their partners when they were quite a bit older than me and they have children too.

wow, 20 is so young, to have people putting those ideas in your head. There are so many years ahead of you at that age

shiney85

I was single for six years, I literally didn't even meet anyone, there were no flings, no dates, nothing, I was a bit concerned that I repelled men, and my friends and family would constantly ask why I hadn't met anyone...but the wonderful man I'm with now never even questioned it, it wasn't even something he asked about, what does it matter and why would you ask how long someone had been single? If you meet, and you click, that's all that matters.

sax11

In answer to the OP

it's a no, no and no

although ive been single now for about 18 months and it's a nightmare to try and find anyone

trollopscarletwoman

Plethora of reasons why you can be single for a long time.

Not single myself but if I was and met someone who had been single for a long time I'd be more interested in getting to know her rather than asking questions about past stuff.

Anyone at the age of 35 is going to have baggage of one kind or another. Start with a clean slate and trust your instincts. You can soon sniff out a waster.

BitterAndTwisted

AubreyMac wrote: »

If someone has been single for a long time, say 5 years or more, would you question what is wrong with them?

If someone got to a certain age say, 35, and have never had a serious relationship do you think that weird?

Would any of those situations put you off someone?

No, they wouldn't. But I would say that, as I am precisely the person you are describing!

SailorSam

Why would it bother you what people think.
They like you they like, if they don't then does it really matter.

SternMusik

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

No, they wouldn't. But I would say that, as I am precisely the person you are describing!

Me too!

sax11

If the OP is worried now as say 35

wait till you get over 40 - it's even more limited

Lets_say

AubreyMac wrote: »

If someone has been single for a long time, say 5 years or more, would you question what is wrong with them-

We're not all graduates of the Ian Beale or Charity Dingle school of romance..