Long term singleton

DomRavioli

It wouldn't make me question anyone - there's nothing wrong in choosing to be single because you haven't met someone you like, or for any other reason for that matter.

I also wouldn't have a problem with it; why would anyone have a problem with it, it is their choice, I'd have more respect for someone who stayed single instead of one who feels they have to be with someone who they don't have feelings for.

AubreyMac

ska_lover wrote: »

To be honest, If I was single and around that age - and then met someone who was in the circumstances you describe - Yes I would wonder why they had never had a serious relationship.

Thank you for your honesty. If I had met a long term singleton, I would wonder what they had done with their time e.g. bringing up young children, studying & pursuing a career, travelling etc. However, I think 30-35ish is just viable for it to not be ‘weird’, anything from late 30’s I think will raise further questions.

ska_lover

I think you should keep your eyes open, Mr right could be right under your nose, and if it happens, let it

I met my mr right when I was 31, I wasn't particularly looking, I had been happily single for four years - maybe he thought I was strange, hes never mentioned it though

Soleil_lune

I have been with my OH for almost 25 years but was single up to my early 20s. Doesn't sound very old LOL, but at the time, I hadn't ever had a boyfriend that had gone past 5 to 10 dates, and everyone around me seemed to be in a long term relationship. Although some of the time, I wasn't bothered by it, (as I felt boys/men were a waste of space and just used me and let me down a lot; ) some of the time, it was quite depressing, and I used to think there was something wrong with me. In fact, people actually made me feel like that. Even my own relatives.

So I feel sorry for people who are single, not because they're 'sad losers' but because society, and (some) people make them feel like failures and weirdos.

If someone is happy to be alone/single/unattached, then it's got nothing to do with anyone else. Even at the times when I was relatively happy(ish) with being single which was about half the time, I had people trying to fix me up left, right, and centre!

SO as for the OP: if someone had been single for years; it would not put me off at all. Yes, it is a tad unusual to have never been in a long term relationship at the age of 35, like it's a tad unusual to not have children, but there's nothing WRONG with it. Not everyone has to fit in that perfect little box that society dictates.

PasturesNew

The sort of people who would judge/question it aren't the sort of people you'd want to mix with, or care yourself about their opinions...... small-minded smug people have usually "settled" for the sort of sub-standard species that singletons of long-standing have been knocking back for years as they are so inadequate they can't bear to be alone.

Indie_Kid

It wouldn't bother me. There were people who were more bothered by the fact that I've never been with anyone, more than I am bothered about it myself.

Soleil_lune

Indie_Kid wrote: »

It wouldn't bother me. There were people who were more bothered by the fact that I've never been with anyone, more than I am bothered about it myself.

Exactly! So many people seem so consumed with how other people live their lives. Nosey parkers!

System

My best friend was single for 6 years but has since met a lovely girl and she wasn't at all phased by it, he struggled to meet people and was never interested in casual relationships but he is a great guy and I'm glad he's met someone at last so I don't think it's off or weird at all.

ska_lover

Indie_Kid wrote: »

It wouldn't bother me. There were people who were more bothered by the fact that I've never been with anyone, more than I am bothered about it myself.

That is a shame that other people even have an opinion unless asked for it - but good for you for sticking to what is right, for you

Indie_Kid

ska_lover wrote: »

That is a shame that other people even have an opinion unless asked for it - but good for you for sticking to what is right, for you

At the time I was about 20. They seemed to imply that if I didn't find someone now, I never would. They were also talking about me having children and stuff. I have friends who met their partners when they were quite a bit older than me and they have children too.