Long term singleton

redcard

barbarawright wrote: »

The only difference is that I get to choose which side of the bed I sleep on and if I wake up in the middle of the night, I can put the light on without worry about waking someone else.

Really? That is the only difference?


Most singletons on here being very defensive

barbarawright

redcard wrote: »

Really? That is the only difference?


Most singletons on here being very defensive

Why on earth would anyone be defensive over a thread where people are calling us weird because of our harmless and uncontroversial (or so I thought) lifestyle?

ska_lover

It is not controversial or weird to be single!! That is not what people are saying - just that if they met someone who is single for a long term - they might question WHY before getting into a relationship with them.

That's just normal to be fair, when meeting someone new - it is a great idea to try and understand what makes them tick - and any major deal breakers as early on as possible

Just by being single does not make you weird - or a huge number of the population would be weird

barbarawright

ska_lover wrote: »

It is not controversial or weird to be single!! That is not what people are saying - just that if they met someone who is single for a long term - they might question WHY before getting into a relationship with them.

That's just normal to be fair, when meeting someone new - it is a great idea to try and understand what makes them tick - and any major deal breakers as early on as possible

Just by being single does not make you weird - or a huge number of the population would be weird

I know it's not weird. However the OP appears to think that being single over the age of 35 'raises further questions'. I wonder whether the OP also questions those who stay in unhappy relationships because they feel being in a couple is the only socially acceptable lifestyle

FBaby

I didn't even realise some people found it wierd that someone could be single for 5 years in their 30s!!! Which is good because that was my case and the last thing I needed was to feel even more stereotyped!

I met my husband after being single for over 5 years in my mid 30s (met at 38). Ironically, he saw my singlehood as something positive, ie. that I was an independent woman, being able to be happy with relying on a man to make me feel so, and that if I was with him, it was because I really liked him rather being with him to be in a relationship. He himself had been single for 3 years. It was a case of being patient until we found eachother

Cloudydaze

barbarawright wrote: »

I know it's not weird. However the OP appears to think that being single over the age of 35 'raises further questions'. I wonder whether the OP also questions those who stay in unhappy relationships because they feel being in a couple is the only socially acceptable lifestyle

Well I'm over 35, currently single and have probably spent more time being single, than not.

Am I weird?! Personally I find people who are in unhappy relationships weirder!! I only have to look at the threads on here to get confirmation that settling for second best is not for me. I can't imagine anything more depressing than being in a dead end relationship.

I've got myself into a position of having a nice home, being financially stable, and pretty much a very enjoyable & active life. Yes, I'd love to meet someone but I don't NEED a boyfriend. For any relationship to go beyond casual dating, it'll have to be with someone utterly amazing!

In the meantime, I'm happy living my life and doing the things I enjoy doing.

IrishRose12

angeltreats wrote: »

I think it depends entirely on the person as to whether long term singleness should be a problem for a potential partner.

I have two male friends who have been single for a long time.

One is 38, has had a few dalliances with ladies but nothing serious and honestly I don't know why he's single other than he's possibly too laid back to pursue a lady and is just quite content with whatever life brings. He is a lovely lovely guy in every way and would be a great catch for someone, would treat them impeccably and is fantastic company. I will probably be secretly a bit jealous of whatever girl he ends up with.

The other is 35, has never had a girlfriend of any kind, a few first dates from internet dating that have never progressed to a second, and has admitted after a few drinks to being a virgin. He has a rather unfortunate personality it has to be said - nice bloke but just very annoying and a bit much to take in anything other than small doses - I go out of my way to be kind to him and have tried to help him with writing his internet dating profile and suggesting clothes he could buy to look a bit smarter (only when he's actually asked for help) but he does tend to be the butt of many jokes of friends and workmates. I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone but I can't imagine who his "someone" would be. It doesn't help matters that his "type" is blonde, size 8 and age 20-25 and refuses to be a bit more realistic.

If you met friend number 1, you would probably find it odd that he'd been single for so long but only because he is so lovely. I doubt very much anyone would find it offputting. If you met friend number 2 it would be quite obvious why he remains single, and it wouldn't be his perpetually single status that would put you off wanting a relationship with him.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that there are all sorts of reasons why someone would be single. If I was single, I think relationship history would be the last thing that would worry me unless there was a bunny boiler ex somewhere in the picture.

Any chance you could send him to Belfast please. My friend is the exact same only she's 30 :rotfl:
Can't speak for myself but as I said my friend is 30, has never had a boyfriend and is a virgin. I've never thought any different of her and neither has by husband. Her only problem is that she has no other friends, lives with her mum, and is very very shy and no confidence.

Soleil_lune

Cloudydaze wrote: »

Well I'm over 35, currently single and have probably spent more time being single, than not.

Am I weird?! Personally I find people who are in unhappy relationships weirder!! I only have to look at the threads on here to get confirmation that settling for second best is not for me. I can't imagine anything more depressing than being in a dead end relationship.

I've got myself into a position of having a nice home, being financially stable, and pretty much a very enjoyable & active life. Yes, I'd love to meet someone but I don't NEED a boyfriend. For any relationship to go beyond casual dating, it'll have to be with someone utterly amazing!

In the meantime, I'm happy living my life and doing the things I enjoy doing.

I agree. Far better to be single for 20 years than to be stuck in a miserable sh*t relationship because you're too scared to be alone! And I know quite a number of people who fit this profile.

Not me though,

Seriously.

No really! :mad:

Seriously, me and hubs have had some tumultuous times and we did seem to argue quite a bit in the first few years of our marriage. But have been happy the vast majority of the time for about 14-15 years now with very few rows. I wouldn't want to be without him now. We used to argue a lot when we were younger though,.

BTW, there is NOTHING wrong with being single. People who are in a couple, seem to have more of a problem with single people, than the single people themselves do!

3forholidays

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Any chance you could send him to Belfast please. My friend is the exact same only she's 30 :rotfl:
Can't speak for myself but as I said my friend is 30, has never had a boyfriend and is a virgin. I've never thought any different of her and neither has by husband. Her only problem is that she has no other friends, lives with her mum, and is very very shy and no confidence.

This sounds like me!

It is so hard to meet anyone these days especially if you don't have any friends! My work colleagues are nice enough but they are all in relationships & some are a lot older than me.

I am not the type of person to go to bars/pubs on my own. You'll be more likely to find me on the internet or with my nose in a book (or ebook)! :rotfl:

Indie_Kid

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Any chance you could send him to Belfast please. My friend is the exact same only she's 30 :rotfl:
Can't speak for myself but as I said my friend is 30, has never had a boyfriend and is a virgin. I've never thought any different of her and neither has by husband. Her only problem is that she has no other friends, lives with her mum, and is very very shy and no confidence.

I'm a bit younger; but it's the same for me. I don't take part in any hobbies that anyone my age does either; so can't meet people my own age that way.