Long term singleton

Buzzybee90

3forholidays wrote: »

This sounds like me!

It is so hard to meet anyone these days especially if you don't have any friends! My work colleagues are nice enough but they are all in relationships & some are a lot older than me.

I am not the type of person to go to bars/pubs on my own. You'll be more likely to find me on the internet or with my nose in a book (or ebook)! :rotfl:

There are a couple of people about 10 years older than me at work but the vast majority are 30 years + so I completely understand this!

I'm lucky that I'm not single and my best friend lives nearby (we both live 300 miles from our hometowns) but apart from that I have no friends in my city. I have colleagues that I'm friendly with but it is invariably hard to naturally make friends if your colleagues aren't like minded if you live in a city you haven't grown up in.

IrishRose12

3forholidays wrote: »

This sounds like me!

It is so hard to meet anyone these days especially if you don't have any friends! My work colleagues are nice enough but they are all in relationships & some are a lot older than me.

I am not the type of person to go to bars/pubs on my own. You'll be more likely to find me on the internet or with my nose in a book (or ebook)! :rotfl:

LOL that's her also. She prefers to stay in, watch TV be on the net or reading. The place where she works they are all older than her and have families of their own, even here I'm sure she must get bored when she comes to my house or when we do go out as all I talk about is the kids.
I have tried to encourage her to meet new friends, even suggested I go along to different things with her, but she either can't be bothered or she's not confident enough.

jansus

After my divorce i was single for 10 years, a combination of bringing three children up, working in a predominantly female environment and no social life plus no desire to meet anyone, apart from maybe the last year led me to being a singleton.
There are so many reasons why someone is single so i would never judge a book by it's cover

VestanPance

I'm now in my early 40's and have been single for 5 years now. I decided not date and remain single from here on in due to various personal reasons.

I know that many people find that strange. I'm quite happy to accept that it's certainly unusual, so it will prompt a reaction from some people. I don't see a point in getting upset or defensive about it.

In terms of dating I think many people the older they get start inventing "red flags". Being single long term for some will be a red flag, as they will wonder why. Most likely thinking the worst.

Only recently I was asked out by a woman at a company I was doing some training for and when I declined the topic turned to dating. She mentioned online dating and I was surprised at the list of things that would rule out someone from even getting a date. She was in her late 30's and one of her rules was they must have been in a relationship for more than three years previously, as she thought it was weird that anyone could get to their mid to late 30's and not have done that. And if they hadn't they must have some sort of commitment phobia or some extreme personality type.

Mind you another was that 40 years old was her cut-off limit (she was 37!), which means I must look younger than I am! :rotfl:

jaffacakegal

I would find it more weird if someone hadn't spent any time single, as a few people I know, jumping from one serious relationship to another. I feel like that shows that someone isn't confident enough to be independent or to appreciate their own time, or seeks constant reassurance!

I would rather be single than stuck with someone who I didn't think was right for me. I'm sure if I really wanted to I could find someone, but why settle just because society thinks I am weird? I like being weird

I must say though it is hard to see friends getting engaged/married/having babies, especially some much younger than me. I'm just at that age (28) where everyone I know seems to be settling down, and I just have cats! I even saw on Facebook the other day someone my age now on their second marriage :eek:

jaylee3

jaffacakegal wrote: »

I would find it more weird if someone hadn't spent any time single, as a few people I know, jumping from one serious relationship to another. I feel like that shows that someone isn't confident enough to be independent or to appreciate their own time, or seeks constant reassurance!

I would rather be single than stuck with someone who I didn't think was right for me. I'm sure if I really wanted to I could find someone, but why settle just because society thinks I am weird? I like being weird

I must say though it is hard to see friends getting engaged/married/having babies, especially some much younger than me. I'm just at that age (28) where everyone I know seems to be settling down, and I just have cats! I even saw on Facebook the other day someone my age now on their second marriage :eek:

I know a few people like this. Who simply can't be single. They settle for any loser, or deadhead, or person that generally treats them like sh-t, rather than be alone. It's pretty lame.

VestanPance

The whole I don't understand people who are never single is just inverse intolerance of the very thing the long term singles complain about.

Kimberley

I've been single for 8 years, nothing wrong with me, been asked out but said no, I just want to lead an independant life as a single person, nothing wrong in that and I'm happy. Some people go from relationship to relationship and are frightened to being on their own, I'd worry more about those people.

hollydays

I haven't read all the thread, but what I notice is you saying you don't want someone with baggage.

What is baggage? I find everyone has their story and it's being able to understand that is part of what makes us human.
If baggage is problems , some people have gained immense strength by overcoming them, it can be character building. I'd be more wary of someone who's life was a blank canvas, id wonder if they had
Enough depth to make a commitment.

Kimberley

As we get older you will find not one person without baggage.