Long term singleton

Yolina

I'm early 40s, long-term single (close to 15 years now I think) and perfectly happy that way. Before that, I don't think I had a relationship last more than a couple of years anyway - I guess I haven't met the right man yet.
I'll own up to being fiercely independent though :rotfl: so just me is just fine and I really don't feel that I need to be with someone but if the right person does come along, then why not

Now if anyone finds that weird, fair enough but the way I see it, it's their problem, not mine. My friends certainly don't have an issue with it or find it strange (some are long-term single too, some are married).

marisco_2

SandC wrote: »

Oh I so need to quote that next time someone looks at me all sad cos of my single status, made me chuckle!

I think you would be far better off not responding in a defensive manner. The more you appear to be trying to justify your lifestyle choice, the greater importance you will be seen to be giving to someone else's opinion. A calm and controlled response always defuses a situation.

jaylee3

sax11 wrote: »

Why worry about someone who is frightened to be on their own.

I absolutely hate being single. Miss the company, the social side, someone to talk too.
Not everyone wants to jump from relationship to the next but having someone you can spend time with isn't a bad thing.

So no matter who it is, you will settle for anyone, just so as not to be alone?

If the answer is 'no' and that you would not settle for just anyone, then what do you do when nobody suitable is 'available?'

I don't think there is anything wrong with being single at all. even for a number of years... As has been said, other people seem to have more of an issue than the unattached people themselves do!

SandC

marisco wrote: »

I think you would be far better off not responding in a defensive manner. The more you appear to be trying to justify your lifestyle choice, the greater importance you will be seen to be giving to someone else's opinion. A calm and controlled response always defuses a situation.

Absolutely, you are right there, it made me laugh though. To be honest I would always try never to judge another's choices based on my own and I would be doing just that if I said that out loud!

I had an on/off almost 4 year long distance thing that ended for good in 2008 and I've only had a number of dates with two blokes since then. One of whom I broke off early on as I just wasn't that into him and the other similar story but even earlier but the other way around on his side! Sometimes I think I AM weird but just put it down to my default setting being single whereas most people's are of being in a couple and any time spent as a singleton is a temporary thing.

I do miss having spontaneous 'come on let's go somewhere' type conversations at weekends and bank holidays though - in your forties your friends aren't around for those types of last minute plans so much. A sunny day and a walk along the canal and a pub meal after a quick phone call at work would be lovely from time to time but just doesn't happen for the perpetual singleton.

All in all though, this could be considered my baggage as much as a clingy ex could be considered someone elses.

marisco_2

Netwizard wrote: »

My friends don't give a toss about my relationship status and don't give a toss about my disability, so i'm quite happy just having good friends.

They see beyond your disability and appreciate all the qualities that make you a great person to know and spend time with. They are most likely also open minded enough, to think that as long as the way you choose to live your life makes you happy, then they don't need to concern themselves about it. They must be nice people to have as friends

Stephb1986_2

Sometimes you just haven't met the right person doesn't mean your weird or any different from the next person. We all have different priorities in life yours may well of been work or hobbies etc. Some people just aren't interested in settling down and being stuck with someone for the rest of their lives.

It's not for everyone. But if now you feel is the right time to find that someone special I'd recommend online dating it's how I met my husband and we've been together for 7 years.

Steph x

pollyanna24

I've got the age of 33 and have been single for 3 1/2 years. I was in a long term relationship from the age of 18 he decided to leave me.

Can't see myself getting into a relationship anytime soon as I find it hard to meet people with two small children. And to be honest, I'm not looking. I found it hard to adjust to being single after spending all my 20s with someone. But you know what, it's kinda nice doing what I want, when I want and having my own money (all within the restrictions of having small kids, but you know what I mean).

Maybe when they are teenagers and I'm in my 40s, I'll start looking, although where to look?!

rainbowfairydust

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

No, they wouldn't. But I would say that, as I am precisely the person you are describing!

SternMusik wrote: »

Me too!

me three

Pthree

I'm 38 been single for about 6 years and never had a relationship last more than 3 months, in my teens / early 20's I had a few bad ones and decided I wouldn't settle (like a lot of my friends did!).

I am a great believer in you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else and I just haven't ever managed it to 100%

Need to buy me some cats..........and lots of them!

marisco_2

Pthree wrote: »

I am a great believer in you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else and I just haven't ever managed it to 100%

No one is happy 100% of the time. Obstacles will always be in the way, holding people back and knocking them down, it's a part of life. Good and bad wouldn't exist and be in balance without each other. Each one teaches people their fair share of lessons. It's the strategies and coping mechanisms, that a person applies to any given situation in life, that determines how happily they proceed through it.