Friend is getting boring

Primrose

I think you need to encourage your friend, now she's retired to get out a get a new life. There must be lots of groups she can join. Encourage her to get down to her local library and find out what's available. Tell her your own life is getting very busy so you may not have much free time over the next few months to spend with her and you don't want her to get bored. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink so if you really have nothing in common any longer, gradually loosen the strings. That may encourage her to take up other interests.

CC-Warrior

Are you sure that she's not secretly playing Call of Duty on Xbox live?

PlymouthMaid

She sounds happy in her life even if it isn't to your taste OP. I, too, think she is making excuses to a degree to get out of doing things with you and maybe anybody else too.

pollypenny

OP didn't mention a husband initially. It sounds as if the friend is quite content and the OP is the one who needs some company.

thorsoak

OP: just find another friend to patronise! Just because someone has retired doesn't mean that their marbles have disappeared: they find something more interesting to do than keep up with boring friends who check up on them from time to time ;-)

dandelionclock30

Often friendships do run their course and you move on, thats all their is to it. If you dont find this person stimulating enough then you need to join things and make new friends.

Poppops

She does right. If she wants to clean, let her clean.

I hoover every day and I work full time.

The world always looks a better place when you've hoovered

:beer:

bellevie

Perhaps she is enjoying retirement, enjoying finding her own routine, doing things that she enjoys at her leisure.
She doesn't have to cram things into an evening or weekend like people do when they work 9-5, she has all day, all week to do whatever she chooses. Sleeping early will be a routine, and maybe she is feeling the benefit of that routine, so doesn't feel the need to change it.
Cleaning 3 times a week isn't an issue, some people enjoy it find it therapeutic, again its her choice.
Maybe she only talks about those things as they are her genuine interests? I know I would talk to certain friends about some things, others about other things depending on my friendship with them.

Either way she isn't hurting anyone, if she is happy then leave her be.

Interest, lifestyles, energy, routines, friends, things we want from life change as we get older. If you are her friend you will be pleased to see her whenever you do see her and accept her for the person she is. That doesn't mean you have to wait around for a call, make new friends yourself but stay in touch (if you want to), if you do something you feel she may like (not should like) once in a while, invite her, or invite someone else. If its continuous refusal, it may just be that the friendship has run its course, people do change and drift apart there doesn't always have to be a fallout or drama to lead to the fall out.

Of course, if there is genuine concern there then I would have a calm chat, ask her how she is doing, is enjoying retirement, if then she announces that she is struggling then by all means suggest things and support her.

Sky_

Maybe she and her DH just enjoy spending time together, maybe they've rekindled their sex life and are just enjoying having the time to indulge.

Whatever the reason, she sounds very happy with her life. The fact that you aren't happy with how she is living her life really isn't her problem!!

meritaten

ScarletMarble wrote: »

I have been very good friends with this friend for 5 years now. We have been on holiday together and been on several day trips.

However, I am finding her boring. and I would like to know the best way to approach her with this with no offence.

She is 30 years older than me (62) and she cleans every other day, does 3 loads of washes per day and irons 95% of the washing. She watches the crap film on Five or a freeview channel and goes to bed watching tv at 7pm and going to sleep at 9-9:30pm.

All she talks about is the above and offers at cheap shops. I have suggested things to make her life easier such as cordless phones and does not want to know Then when we eat out, she always orders the same as me - apart from when I have ordered pasta.

She tells me things I already know about her dislikes of food.

I am running out of excuses of why I don't want to go out with her as I get more out of a day trip to another place without her. I always have some different to say, but with her she sounds like a broken record and she talks like its our first meet up. The last two calls she made to me I gained no further news from her.

In the few days between Christmas and NYD, she said that she has not received a birthday (birthday is 22nd Dec) or a Christmas card from certain friends. I suspect that they are getting bored of her as well. Unfortunately, I don't have any contact details for her other friends and cannot phone them up for asking their opinions about her change of behaviour/attitude.

If you had a friend that became boring, what would you do?

I suggest you find friends of your own age. at 62 her priorities have changed and as you find her interests 'boring' then perhaps you have grown apart.
don't assume that lack of Christmas or birthday cards from her friends mean they find her boring too. they may well have died, or emigrated, or retired to spain.