Unwanted Guest.....

RossyRed

Stephb1986 wrote: »

One piece of advice I will give you because weddings are so stressful for both of you. The advice is, as long as you and your fiance get married that is all that matters everything else can and maybe will go wrong and there will be nothing you can do to change it. Just make sure you both enjoy the day because it goes so so fast!!

We got our wedding preview video tonight which is fantastic as I don't really remember much of the day it went that fast! So it's jogged my memory a lot too

Steph x

Thanks I do agree. If he did show up what harm would it cause? None. as we will be surrounded by people who genuinely love and care for us just as we do them.

RossyRed

silverwhistle wrote: »

Have you any lesbian friends? Some of us are quite fit and strong and don't stand for any nonense, but can be very protective of our friends. Potentially being put in his place by a few women might be even more effective...

I'm all for a bit of 'lesbian bashing'.

Will keep it in mind.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

RossyRed wrote: »

I only found out a couple of weeks ago.

Some offences committed by servicing Police Officers are more serious than if it was Joe Public and certainly not all 'serious criminal offences' have an impact on someone's life.

Thanks for your comments

How about the ability to work in certain rolls in certain jobs or losing your job, your house your family and stability over a false conviction.
How about serving community service paying a fine for something someone else did to you or serving time for it.
How about some of the more serious offences that carry perceptions of people like being up for child abuse ripping and tearing up families?
lesser crimes don't have much of an impact some do some dont, but an officer deliberately knowingly and poisonous enough to give and provide false evidence and statement to a judge to give a bigger sentence or wrongly convict someone is a crime in itself no matter how small or big the crime the person affected committed or didn't commit!. it would be my duty to report such crime even if it was family, why is it not yours?

RossyRed

You're right!

I will do the right thing tomorrow and PM you with an update.

Thanks for helping me to see a different perspective

*max*

silverwhistle wrote: »

Have you any lesbian friends? Some of us are quite fit and strong and don't stand for any nonense, but can be very protective of our friends. Potentially being put in his place by a few women might be even more effective...

I'm not a lesbian, and I'm perfectly capable of putting a man - or a woman - in his or her place should the need arise, and I'm also very protective of my friends. I have mates who are lesbians and wouldn't say boo to a goose. It's about personality. I have no idea why sexuality should even come into it tbh, unless it is to perpetuate stereotypes.

Transformers

silverwhistle wrote: »

Have you any lesbian friends? Some of us are quite fit and strong and don't stand for any nonense, but can be very protective of our friends. Potentially being put in his place by a few women might be even more effective...

What??? Talk about reinforcing stereotypes.

*max* wrote: »

I'm not a lesbian, and I'm perfectly capable of putting a man - or a woman - in his or her place should the need arise, and I'm also very protective of my friends. I have mates who are lesbians and wouldn't say boo to a goose. It's about personality. I have no idea why sexuality should even come into it tbh, unless it is to perpetuate stereotypes.

Thanks for a voice of reason.

DKLS

Nicki wrote: »

Because it is a legal requirement that the wedding service is open to the public not just invited guests. The doors must be left unlocked and provided there is room anyone is allowed to enter for the service.

A wedding which does not take place under these conditions can be declared invalid.

Thanks for that explanation, I had never realised those rules existed, I wouldn't dream of going to a wedding service if i wasn't invited.

elsien

RossyRed wrote: »

Well he tarnished my graduation, first house purchase, birth of first child, birth of second child, christening 1 and christening 2.

How did he do this?


You can't control his behaviour but what you can do is control your reactions to it. And just don't give him what he wants.
Family and friends (those who are attending) will already know he's an @rsehole of the first order. So if he chooses to show up, make snide comments, have a tantrum in the corner, whatever it is he does, just remind yourself that the only person he's showing up is himself. And everyone there knows it, they know it's not a reflection on you. He's not going to be at the reception because you can bar him from that, I wouldn't imagine the vicar's going to stand for any shenanigans in church (you can have a word with the vicar first if you think it'll help to prewarn them).
And as for the rest of it, all you need to do is tell the kids granddad is a plonker (I'm guessing they don't have a relationship with him to spoil), then just look right through him and let him get on with it.
He's game playing and trying to mess with your head. Which he can only do if you let him in there in the first place.

Mojisola

elsien wrote: »

He's game playing and trying to mess with your head. Which he can only do if you let him in there in the first place.

This is the right advice but it's not easy when you've grown up with a controlling personality in your life - mind you, it's so good when you can stop being affected by them that it's worth it!

elsien

My father tried to mess up both my brothers' weddings by not replying to the invitation then refusing to confirm if he was going to be there or not. At the time the in-laws didn't know what a tosspot he is, so both brothers were finding it very embarrassing wondering whether to make a place for him, trying to explain why they didn't know what was happening etc.
He didn't show and never apologised or explained. Which was a real shame as both boys were trying to make the effort to repair the relationship and they did want him there.
End result, after a few more sagas he now has no relationship at all with any of his children. Now that we have finally made the decision that we're not playing any more we all have a huge weight lifted off our minds.Took years to get to this point, but definitely worth it. Getting butterflies at the thought of any contact does not denote a healthy relationship and we're much better off out of it.
And he's going to be a very lonely old man. His choice, his consequences, not my problem any more.