Unwanted Guest.....

RossyRed

GobbledyGook wrote: »

What's the worst he can do?.......He can turn up, cause a bit of a kerfuffle whilst you wait on the police and then leave.

Worrying for months, changing you wedding plans and letting him dictate your day will show him that he is important because he can make you dance to his fiddle.

Going ahead with your wedding as you planned it, as you wanted, despite his current threats to turn up and going ahead with the rest of the ceremony and evening even if he does turn up shows him that he's not important. His threats are not important and he is nothing in your life.

Amen to this man / woman

bagpussbear

I think he won't turn up.

In your shoes, I would actually confide in your fiance's family and ask them for them help. Don't underestimate the power of the bride's family members here, no way are they going to let some bloke spoil their little girl's special day!

If he does turn up, then let others deal with him, just you and your bride completely blank him, don't even look at him.

And in the meantime, try and get your mum to make the message on your behalf very clear that he is not welcome.

Mojisola

bagpussbear wrote: »

And in the meantime, try and get your mum to make the message on your behalf very clear that he is not welcome.

I wouldn't do this - he will know that his threats got back to you and that you have been worrying about it.

Have people prepared to deal with the situation if he appears but otherwise ignore him and his machinations.

yvonne13_2

OP ask a couple of your guest/bouncers to man the church gate if its at a church and they should see him off pretty sharpish.

silverwhistle

Have you any lesbian friends? Some of us are quite fit and strong and don't stand for any nonense, but can be very protective of our friends. Potentially being put in his place by a few women might be even more effective...

barbiedoll

One thing I must say is that you absolutely should NOT write to him with any threats of any kind, violent or otherwise.

Putting anything in writing is just handing evidence to him, you don't want him having a word with his police mates and getting you arrested on your wedding day!

I hope you have a lovely day

Stephb1986_2

One piece of advice I will give you because weddings are so stressful for both of you. The advice is, as long as you and your fiance get married that is all that matters everything else can and maybe will go wrong and there will be nothing you can do to change it. Just make sure you both enjoy the day because it goes so so fast!!

We got our wedding preview video tonight which is fantastic as I don't really remember much of the day it went that fast! So it's jogged my memory a lot too

Steph x

atrixblue.-MFR-.

I'm wondering what poor soul is suffering or has suffered for too long at the hands of your fathers past "serious criminal offence" when he was younger, and why you see fit to withhold such information like its a bargaining chip to overthrow his powers over you?
You no longer want contact with him, yet keep his secrets protected in your mind while he smears your good name and yet he retains and maintains his!. How does your conscious feel knowing that he's done injustice to someone, somewhere out there and held that secret for so long? and that's just the one you know about!. What makes me have less sympathy for you in this situation is that you've held information about your fathers criminal offence for so long someone elses life has been affected other than yours and are happy to just say nothing if your dad leaves you alone!.

RossyRed

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

I'm wondering what poor soul is suffering or has suffered for too long at the hands of your fathers past "serious criminal offence" when he was younger, and why you see fit to withhold such information like its a bargaining chip to overthrow his powers over you?
You no longer want contact with him, yet keep his secrets protected in your mind while he smears your good name and yet he retains and maintains his!. How does your conscious feel knowing that he's done injustice to someone, somewhere out there and held that secret for so long? and that's just the one you know about!. What makes me have less sympathy for you in this situation is that you've held information about your fathers criminal offence for so long someone elses life has been affected other than yours and are happy to just say nothing if your dad leaves you alone!.

I only found out a couple of weeks ago.

Some offences committed by servicing Police Officers are more serious than if it was Joe Public and certainly not all 'serious criminal offences' have an impact on someone's life.

Thanks for your comments

RossyRed

barbiedoll wrote: »

One thing I must say is that you absolutely should NOT write to him with any threats of any kind, violent or otherwise.

Putting anything in writing is just handing evidence to him, you don't want him having a word with his police mates and getting you arrested on your wedding day!

I hope you have a lovely day

Thanks for the advice. I will be minded that anything I do undertake would be covert. However..... Knowing that 'I'm free' I'm thinking to inform a few key people and enjoy the day as I should