Meal Invitation Etiquette

aileth

Hi all,

Was just thinking about this situation over the weekend, as my OH cannot see my point of view yet others have fully agreed with me.

If someone invites you to a meal (but with each side paying separately), gives you a time and location, you turn up exactly on time and are there sat waiting on your lonesome at the table for 20 minutes because they are 20 minutes late, what would you think?

In my opinion, if you are inviting someone to a meal, regardless of who is paying, you are 'hosting' the meal and therefore surely it is for the host to be the first there and greet the guests? Would you find it rude because of this or regardless of who has invited who, or would you simply not find it rude at all?

Thanks

19lottie82

id find it rude that someone was 20 minutes late, full stop. unless they had a genuine reason and let me know that they were on their way. who invited who, wouldn't come in to it.

Kayalana99

19lottie82 wrote: »

who invited who, wouldn't come in to it.

Exactly. :T

InsideInsurance

1) Why are they late?
2) What is your relation to them?
3) Were others coming and if so do you know them?

If I was arranging to meet the Mrs or any of her friends then I would lie and tell them the meal was an hr earlier than it really was and even then would consider myself lucky if they turned up within 30 minutes of the actual time.

By British sensibilities being late is certainly rude but no matter how well you plan sometimes things come up but for close friends and family you get to know who has better time keeping skills etc.

The "hosting" bit really would depend on if its just you and a mate meeting up or a wider crowd where people wont necessarily know each other. Just friends then I really wouldnt consider there to be a host when meeting at a neutral venue. Meeting strangers or at someones place then the host has a bigger function to fulfil.

Counter

Them being 20 minutes late would be an issue for me regardless of how the meal was arranged. I wouldn't view this situation as having a "host".

victory

aileth wrote: »

Hi all,

Was just thinking about this situation over the weekend, as my OH cannot see my point of view yet others have fully agreed with me.

If someone invites you to a meal (but with each side paying separately), gives you a time and location, you turn up exactly on time and are there sat waiting on your lonesome at the table for 20 minutes because they are 20 minutes late, what would you think?

In my opinion, if you are inviting someone to a meal, regardless of who is paying, you are 'hosting' the meal and therefore surely it is for the host to be the first there and greet the guests? Would you find it rude because of this or regardless of who has invited who, or would you simply not find it rude at all?

Thanks

I wouldn't think I was hosting the meal if it was in a restaurant, if it was at home and I had asked them to come over then yes hosting in that instance but not in a restaurant.

If they were 20 minutes late there is all manner of reasons why, traffic, car trouble, watch wrong, stopped off to get something and got held in a queue, I would not consider it to be a personal thing done to be on purpose but I would have asked why?

aileth

It was family in law and they didn't give a reason for being late, but from past experience it will be because one was faffing with make up and left getting ready till five minutes before the table was booked. It definitely wasn't traffic as we came from the same direction.

Spendless

I have friends/family who are frequently late, I arrange to meet them and then go in to the meal, as I wouldn't ask to be shown to a table and then have to refuse service as I'm still waiting.

I also have family who are too early and that is equally frustrating. We once arrived on-time for a family buffet to find they were already half way through, lesson learnt. We now turn up at least 30 mins earlier than the time we are told.

Indie_Kid

I have a friend who frequently turns up late (or stupidly early) and always makes excuses.

I regularly meet up with friends. If we go for drinks beforehand, the text always reads "between 7 & 7.30pm..."

I wouldn't be happy if the host was 20 minutes late. I would actually wonder (unless they informed me beforehand) if they were going to bother turning up at all.

victory

Spendless wrote: »

I have friends/family who are frequently late, I arrange to meet them and then go in to the meal, as I wouldn't ask to be shown to a table and then have to refuse service as I'm still waiting.

I also have family who are too early and that is equally frustrating. We once arrived on-time for a family buffet to find they were already half way through, lesson learnt. We now turn up at least 30 mins earlier than the time we are told.

Oh I know, I knew a person that seemed to take great pleasure in arranging a time and turning up early for when you showed up to go on about how they had been waiting when the time to arrive had not even arrived yet:rotfl::rotfl: used to drive me bananas, why say a time to show up early and then moan???

InsideInsurance

aileth wrote: »

It was family in law and they didn't give a reason for being late, but from past experience it will be because one was faffing with make up and left getting ready till five minutes before the table was booked. It definitely wasn't traffic as we came from the same direction.

So its family with a track record of being late with no strangers etc also being invited?

Either get there late yourself or take the opportunity for a drink at the bar beforehand. Lifes too short to worry about casual dinners with family being delayed