Meal Invitation Etiquette

Pollycat

aileth wrote: »

OCD is perhaps too strong a word. I am a stickler for being on time as I think late for no reasonable explanation is the epitome of rudeness, especially if it down to someone's poor planning and general disrespect.

Me too, aileth.

I remember a thread a while ago about someone's daughter inviting friends over for a meal and a very similar discussion to this was had.

If I say I will be ready for 7:30, then I will be ready for 7:30.
If you turn up at 7:25 I won't be ready but if you turn up at 7:45 I'll have been ready for 15 minutes and I'll be bloody mad that you're late.

Even if the arrangement is pretty loose - e.g. I'm meeting my sister for coffee in the local Wetherspoons, if I know I won't be there bang on the time we've arranged, I'll text or ring to let her know.

To me, that shows that I think her time is just as important as mine.

picklekin

I wouldn't have worried about the hosting thing, although if it was an event I'd organised I might be even more worried about being on time. I went for lunch with friends the other week, thier reservation, but I was early and just asked for thier table and sat and had a drink. But yes, I think 20 minutes late with no text is rude, its so easy to keep people informed these days (unless your stuck in a tunnel which happens to me!). I think this is lessened if your with a partner but I'd still be miffed.

Bangton

I hate lateness. I used to have a friend who could be upto an hour late. It drove me potty and we are no longer friends.

It is rude. I think the people saying 'chill out' are the sort of people who will happily turn up late themselves.

Agree wholeheartedly with Pollycat

InsideInsurance

meritaten wrote: »

I think if you invite someone for a meal, even if its in a restaurant, then you are the host. and should be there to greet your guests. even if they are all paying for themselves. its bad manners to invite someone, somewhere, and not be there to greet them.

Inviting, to me at least, is a fairly formal thing and the formality of it should run through to the rest of it. Suggesting meeting up with a mate or family at the local isnt formal and, to me at least, doesnt involve an invitation.

I guess it depends on how formal the OP is with their family. If its all airs and graces and such then maybe it was a formal invitation to dine together. If it was my family then it'd just be an informal thing of meeting up to chew the fat (hopefully not literally)

Sandhy

Are these same people late for work everyday? Assume for a moment one starts work at 9am...I bet most manage it most of the time!

Izadora

I have a fairly relaxed (okay, appalling) approach to time-keeping but would still let people know, and be very apologetic, if I was going to be 20 minutes late to a restaurant. If it's just a group of us meeting somewhere informal then it's generally accepted that I'll be there when I get there but I won't be more than 5 mins late if it means I'm going to be leaving someone on their own.

Georgiegirl256

Bangton wrote: »

It is rude. I think the people saying 'chill out' are the sort of people who will happily turn up late themselves.

Was just going to say that too. If anyone can be so laid back about it, then I would say time keeping isn't of that much importance to them either.

Prothet_of_Doom

My wife's friend is an hour late to any event.

So much so that, we'd tell her a time, an hour earlier than the table is booked for, and she'd still be late.

The trick is to remember for next time, and take a book to read.

InsideInsurance

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Was just going to say that too. If anyone can be so laid back about it, then I would say time keeping isn't of that much importance to them either.

No, my time keeping is impeccable but after being married to a latin lass you simply have to get used to the fact that not everywhere/ everyone in the world has the same thoughts on timekeeping. Hence why I lie to her about what time she needs to be somewhere :A

Even for our wedding she was over an hr late and the registrar was threatening to go (and one of the assistants did) just before she got there

hazyjo

I think me & my lot are always quite vague with regard to timings. Four of us are out for dinner tonight and I said to arrive any time between 7.30-8.30pm (at mine) and we'll go from there. One texted back to say she'll be nearer 8.30pm so I've now said any time after 8pm. Not sure what time we'll get to the restaurant, but it'll be before 9pm (only up the road).

One friend of mine is either late or she cancels. Yes, she drives me mad, but it's just the way she is (although she thinks she has impeccable timing lol!). I was out for lunch with her last weekend and didn't rush - said to the BF she'd be late. She texted at 11.30pm to ask if I minded if we made it half hour later as she was sorting a prescription for her mum and had to cook her lunch. Didn't bother me. Surprised she even texted lol. In fact, can't even remember what time she turned up. Maybe 1.40pm or so.

I'm actually not the best timekeeper myself. I can get ready in 30 mins, but if I have 5 hours, I will take 5 hours and still be rushing at the end! I usually get out the door when I aim to, but I always underestimate how much time I have left before I have to leave. Always a mad rush.

Jx