Meal Invitation Etiquette

Indie_Kid

aileth wrote: »

The people who know others who are known for being 'late', does anyone else think that's a bit sad, that you have to compensate for others disrespecting you by being incapable of meeting you on time? To me that's just completeness rudeness, especially if they're 'known' for it.

Agreed. I find my friend always makes excuses - had to stop for petrol, overslept, etc.

I do have another friend who says he'll be there at 6.30 - 6.45 and he's almost always there by 6.35. He did text me one time and say he was going to be late. Why is it so difficult for others to do this?

I try to be on time. I was late meeting a friend once and did text beforehand to tell him this.

PasturesNew

Hosting/greeting .... I'd think that was nonsense.

I'd not see it as somebody inviting me for a meal ... but meeting up with somebody for a meal. They'd have simply suggested it.

ska_lover

I don't think it is hugely disrespectful or over the top rude,IMO this is just a slight inconvienience - it is not like you were waiting outside in the rain - or waiting alone OP. You cannot just tar someone as disrespectful or rude because of this, its a complete generalisation unless they are rude and disrespectful in other ways towards you

Could you and your husband not sufficiently entertain yourselves for 20 mins with a drink? They did say sorry, I am not sure what more you expect from them, Chill out - you say you are a bit OCD with timing, they seem a bit more relaxed about things and that would infuriate you

Mayflower10cat

If I was on my own and meeting a friend (or friends) in say a bar, or Pub I'd be uncomfortable standing waiting for 20 minutes or so. Maybe not so bad in a restaurant, but even so, I'd be embarrassed to sit alone looking like I'd been stood up! Generally on a busy weekend, if a party hasn't turned up for their booked table the seating host will let the table go after 15 minutes - though usually they'll try and call the number of the person who made the reservation first.

skintchick

aileth wrote: »

My OH tried calling 4-5 times when we arrived, we then got a call back saying they'd be five minutes late and then they ended up being 20.

Seriously? You didn;t allow them any leeway at all for traffic having been worse for them than you (same route notwithstanding) and phoned them FIVE TIMES as soon as you got there?

I think your OCD got the better of you there.

I think most people would leave 5-10 minutes before phoning or texting, in the expectation that they'd receive some news in that time (and I do agree they should have let you know).

If you had done that to me and phoned five times at dead on 8, I'd have thought "!!!! it" and slowed down. I think anything up to 15 minutes is explainable and I wouldn;t be bothered about it.

And on the hosting, there is only a host if it is an event like a birthday to which you've been invited. Just a dinner? No host if it's in a restaurant.

meritaten

I think if you invite someone for a meal, even if its in a restaurant, then you are the host. and should be there to greet your guests. even if they are all paying for themselves. its bad manners to invite someone, somewhere, and not be there to greet them.

MrsAtobe

If someone invites me for a meal at 7pm, I will do my best to be there at seven, if someone says seven-ish, then that's 10 mins either side. No way would I be 20 mins late without sending a text message, apologising and explaining, and I am the world's worst for being late

heartbreak_star

We're another bunch that will meet in a bar before a meal, and say "between X time and Y time".

However, if I'll miss that deadline, I text.

I'm never too bothered about being on my own in a pub or restaurant for a bit. I just read my Kindle

HBS x

Pollycat

ska_lover wrote: »

I don't think it is hugely disrespectful or over the top rude,IMO this is just a slight inconvienience - it is not like you were waiting outside in the rain - or waiting alone OP. You cannot just tar someone as disrespectful or rude because of this, its a complete generalisation unless they are rude and disrespectful in other ways towards you

I disagree.
You can tar (and I would) someone as disrespectful or rude because of that.
It's not a complete generalisation.
It is rude and disrespectful in that way regardless of how they treat you in other ways.

ska_lover wrote: »

Could you and your husband not sufficiently entertain yourselves for 20 mins with a drink? They did say sorry, I am not sure what more you expect from them, Chill out - you say you are a bit OCD with timing, they seem a bit more relaxed about things and that would infuriate you

One party apologised, the other didn't.
Maybe they are aware of the OP's OCD tendencies.
If they are, instead of her being more relaxed about things, perhaps they should make more effort about turning up on time.

aileth

Relax on the insults people.

The reason he called 4-5 times is because the restaurant they had booked didn't have their booking. They were very busy but still had a table for us (I suspect it was the booked table, the waitress' English was very limited), so we were panicking that we had got the wrong place seeing as they weren't there and of course took 20 minutes.

OCD is perhaps too strong a word. I am a stickler for being on time as I think late for no reasonable explanation is the epitome of rudeness, especially if it down to someone's poor planning and general disrespect.