Letter from School quoting Abusive Language

cte1111

Oh for heavens sake. Have you never accidentally opened a letter that is not addressed to you?

My daughter is hoping for a reply from a competition that she entered (I have warned her that it is very unlikely she will win as lots of people enter). If she saw post with her name on it, there is a very small chance that she might miss the parent bit and just see the Ellie bit. Very unlikely as I say but just about possible and in some households the year 5 child could be the first person home so pick up the post from the doormat.

She would not open my post. My son would not open my post. I actually open all the post (for myself, my husband or the occupier), unless it is obviously a birthday / Easter / other greetings card for one of the children.

The letter didn't say "Mr Albert and Mrs Jennifer Jones", it said "Parent or carer of Ellie Jones". If Ellie Jones was counting the days until she received something in the post, then there is a possibility that she could have missed the xxxxxxxxx and just saw the Ellie part.

GobbledyGook

fashionlover10 wrote: »

I'm really surprised that those girls managed to have that conversation via Skype in the first place. The internet isn't a brand new gimmick that parents know nothing about. Surely they've heard of the dangers and should be monitoring their children online?
It's also shocking to think what sort of environment they might be living in to be able to hear about such explicit things.

You would be surprised. The number of parents who assume that because their child is 'well behaved' means they are ok to use Facebook or Skype is staggering.

Also often parents monitor online action by checking afterwards. We don't know that this wasn't a horrible one off occasion. Someone's parents obviously discovered it.

There's also the issue of internet on mobile phones or tablets that are taken elsewhere and cannot be monitored as easily.

The internet is everywhere and people just assume it's ok. I've been told by 3 other parents that I'm 'mean' and 'living in the dark ages' because my 10-year-old is only allowed access to Facebook when I say so, she's not allowed to add anyone without asking first and I have complete control of her account [the only reason she has one is because her friend moved 100 miles away and my cousin's children who she is close too live far away and I don't want her using my account].

GobbledyGook

That's not the school's problem though. That is something for your household to address if or when it would be an issue.

The only other options the school have is to send letters home with the children or not tell the parents.

steampunkmimi

It's also shocking to think what sort of environment they might be living in to be able to hear about such explicit things.

"They got Discovery, don't they...?":rotfl:

laurel7172

morganedge wrote: »

How old were these kids? And they were boys i'd guess?

Wouldn't count on it.

*Anyway*, when we had a Year 6 social media meltdown, our response was to invite parents to an e-safety meeting.

Four turned up.

So I have a large degree of sympathy for the head. For all you know, the softly-softly approach has already been tried and failed.

IMHO, where children's safety is concerned, parents should never choose ignorance over awareness.

cte1111

Ok I can only presume that people are looking for an argument. I'm not, I genuinely wanted to get other people's take on the situation. As an experienced forum user, I'm aware that you will often hear opinions that differ from yours and expected that.

I do resent people implying that I somehow withheld information, that when I've mentioned a tiny possibility of something I'm saying that it happens every day and that I don't want to know what happens in my children's school.

I do want to know, I've said that repeatedly - a letter home to parents on the subject was a good idea.

I just don't want to read foul language. I'm aware that foul language and disgusting conversations take place, but never felt the need to join in when I was at school and have never wanted to do so as an adult. I personally don't feel that the headteacher should send me letters with that sort of language in. I am able to infer what the content would have been without it being explicitly forced on me.

whodathunkit

laurel7172 wrote: »

Wouldn't count on it.

*Anyway*, when we had a Year 6 social media meltdown, our response was to invite parents to an e-safety meeting.

Four turned up.

So I have a large degree of sympathy for the head. For all you know, the softly-softly approach has already been tried and failed.

IMHO, where children's safety is concerned, parents should never choose ignorance over awareness.

I am glad you corrected that.;)

whodathunkit

cte1111 wrote: »

Ok I can only presume that people are looking for an argument. I'm not, I genuinely wanted to get other people's take on the situation. As an experienced forum user, I'm aware that you will often hear opinions that differ from yours and expected that.

I do resent people implying that I somehow withheld information, that when I've mentioned a tiny possibility of something I'm saying that it happens every day and that I don't want to know what happens in my children's school.

I do want to know, I've said that repeatedly - a letter home to parents on the subject was a good idea.

I just don't want to read foul language. I'm aware that foul language and disgusting conversations take place, but never felt the need to join in when I was at school and have never wanted to do so as an adult. I personally don't feel that the headteacher should send me letters with that sort of language in. I am able to infer what the content would have been without it being explicitly forced on me.

Surely that's what you've had and what you're unhappy about?

balletshoes

cte1111 wrote: »

Ok I can only presume that people are looking for an argument. I'm not, I genuinely wanted to get other people's take on the situation. As an experienced forum user, I'm aware that you will often hear opinions that differ from yours and expected that.

I do resent people implying that I somehow withheld information, that when I've mentioned a tiny possibility of something I'm saying that it happens every day and that I don't want to know what happens in my children's school.

I do want to know, I've said that repeatedly - a letter home to parents on the subject was a good idea.

I just don't want to read foul language. I'm aware that foul language and disgusting conversations take place, but never felt the need to join in when I was at school and have never wanted to do so as an adult.
I personally don't feel that the headteacher should send me letters with that sort of language in.
I am able to infer what the content would have been without it being explicitly forced on me.

I understand thats how you feel - but as you can see from lots of the replies you've had, others (parents/teachers/adults) feel differently, in the context of this letter and the situation from which it arose.

I still think the school did absolutely the right thing, in the right way.

fashionlover10

GobbledyGook wrote: »

You would be surprised. The number of parents who assume that because their child is 'well behaved' means they are ok to use Facebook or Skype is staggering.

Also often parents monitor online action by checking afterwards. We don't know that this wasn't a horrible one off occasion. Someone's parents obviously discovered it.

There's also the issue of internet on mobile phones or tablets that are taken elsewhere and cannot be monitored as easily.

The internet is everywhere and people just assume it's ok. I've been told by 3 other parents that I'm 'mean' and 'living in the dark ages' because my 10-year-old is only allowed access to Facebook when I say so, she's not allowed to add anyone without asking first and I have complete control of her account [the only reason she has one is because her friend moved 100 miles away and my cousin's children who she is close too live far away and I don't want her using my account].

I happen to agree with you with regards to how you keep an eye on your daughters facebook account.
Both my nieces are technically too young to have facebook but their mum lets them use it freely, the same as she does with BBM. Then she wondered why she had issues with her eldest talking to a guy in his 30's on it :wall: