Feeling trapped in relationship

tayforth

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

First, well done on phoning Women's Aid. Are they following up with another call or arranging to see you?

Second, don't worry about your colleagues. I'm sure they will be understanding - wouldn't you if it had been one of them? When I was preparing to leave my ex, I spent two weeks crying in the toilets at work every day. I thought that I was hiding my emotions well, but my boss later told me that he knew I was upset.

Third, it's lovely that you had such nice words from your mum. Perhaps you can find her again via family members? It's telling that you say that your partner 'would have flipped'.

Fourth, don't worry about what you're going to tell your partner's family - leave it up to him!

I'm sure your emotions are all over the place right now, but be assured that you're doing the right thing xxxx

duchy

Just a thought but was some the distance between you and your Mum because she didn't like your partner/he got between you and your Mum ?

pinkshoes

Contact your mum and confide in her what is going on.

Sounds like she misses you and would like to be part of your life.

gunsandbanjos

I'm so sorry to read this, I can't imagine how you must be feeling, you must get out of this relationship as soon as you can.

Is there a chance your partner has told your mum you didn't want to see her?

Mojisola

lalaluna wrote: »

Thing is, I'm a little torn about how I feel about this. Not the sure start thing,but the crying in front of my coworkers. I couldn't help myself, I'm not even sure why I cried, I suppose it was just being able to fully express myself to women's aid and be taken seriously for a change that Brough it on. I was properly sobbing and shaking and generally making a mess of myself but I'm not sure how to face them on Monday. I actually feel like I've made a fool of myself. I'm not sure what to think to be honest.

On my way I felt a tap on my shoulder, turned round and my mum was stood there! She hugged me said she loved me and that she always thinks of me

Two things - don't feel foolish about crying in front of your workmates. They know now how bad things are for you and the good ones will offer you a lot of support.

That was brilliant for your Mum to turn up just when you're starting to realise how bad your relationship is. It's very hard for family when someone they love becomes a victim of an abuser - the only thing they can do is stand back until the victim is ready to break free and be there for them. It sounds as if you have that support ready and waiting.

dancingfairy

I suspect that either your partner has said something nasty to your family or has deliberately driven you away from them. They may well have been feeling powerless but have been afraid to contact you (perhaps for fear of making things worse).
One thing at a time. Perhaps in time you can rebuild a relationship with your family but first you need to escape this horrible relationship. I am so glad you are getting help and support.
Stay strong.
df

alwaysonthego_2

I have been where you are and come through the other side. Everyone has given you fantastic advice, try not to worry about his family as they are likely to side with him and you will be seen as the bad person. My ex's family refused to acknowledge his behaviour so it was easier to blame me. Stay strong and in three years time things will be different x

tillyenna

Great work on calling Women's aid - and letting co-workers know that something isn't right (even if you did it unintentionally) - I hope you've dealt OK with seeing them today.


Also FAB news that you saw your mum! What a wonderful co-incidence. I would say give your mum a second chance, regardless of what relationship you've had with her in the past - she seems to genuinely want to reconnect with you - I would strongly suggest trying to get in contact with her, and letting her know what's going on in your life - she's your mum, I'm sure she'll want to help you out!

LandyAndy

pinkshoes wrote: »

Contact your mum and confide in her what is going on.

Sounds like she misses you and would like to be part of your life.

I thought the OP said she didn't have contact details for her family?


I do hope this is a genuine thread. I hate to see people expending so much energy needlessly.

lalaluna

Re my mum, I'm not really sure how to go about contacting her. I don't have any contact details for anyone I my family, I could maybe try something like facebook further down the line but I'm a bit torn about this. Part of me wants to regain contact, there are family members who I really miss, and I sure they will be able to be supportive, but another part of me doesn't feel ready. There will be so many questions asked, possibly resentment and I don't know, I'm just not sure I ready.


My partner has never really liked my family. I'm not really sure why but I've gotten the impression several times that he looks down on them. I feel so ashamed that Im in this situation. So ashamed that I've been naive enough to turn away from people who have genuinely cared for me in favour for someone who convinced me I had to do everything his way for a relationship to work.