talk me down please

Mojisola

mellymoo74 wrote: »

It's hard.

Upset

It must be horrible to be on the receiving end of his anger and frustration.:(

thorsoak

It is horrible - and he is being horrible - and especially with it being your birthday it is even more horrible. xxxxxxx

wannabe_sybil

Happy Birthday!

Sending hugs as well as birthday wishes.

It must be so tough, but I suggest you get yourself some space and don't make any decisions hastily. Then end of the storm with MIL is nearly in sight. If you think he can behave himself once this had died down, just get some space. Though I really do understand how you must feel completely at the end of your resources. You have had to give so much.

:bdaycake:

Good luck

mellymoo74

Given everything it's not enough
My dogs are worried about me both got upset when I cried earlier.

CRANKY40

Aww, have a dodgy group hug from us. :grouphug: He's being one of those things that you can't write on here but it rhymes with cat. A great big dopey one of those! He really has no idea how to cope with emotions does he? Hardly surprising really.

mellymoo74

Still out. No contact.

wannabe_sybil

Hugs

You could have thrown everything in, absolutely everything, and it won't have made a difference. I think your OH is a black hole of despair and pain and anger.

This does not mean that you should be the punchbag, but there is nothing, absolutely nothing, you could have done more. You have done far, far more than I would have done and shown massive amounts of strength and resilience.

Can you book yourself a night in a b&b that takes dogs or something? Is there anywhere you can hide away? Pretty soon your OH is going to collapse. You may not have anything left to give at this point, and it's okay to not go running if you are too upset. He has set himself up for being left to lick his wounds alone. I suggest that in this fraught time you keep yourself safe and don't make any major decisions until things have calmed down.

To be quite honest, if you have taken all you can, then that is really that. You will know if there is going to be any shreds worth saving, but perhaps at this time it's a good idea to take it steady and not react under all the exhaustion and fraught emotions.

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

mellymoo74

He's said sorry.

And cried

And told me the cat is still coming here he just wanted to upset me.

meritaten

oh melly - happy birthday hun, whats left of it anyway!


Why did he want to upset you melly? Did he think you weren't grieving too? because if so - he is mistaken. We know you were deeply upset at the way MIL was 'cared for' and the manner of her death. could he not see that?
Time now for some really DEEP conversation melly. this must all be pulled out in the open now - how you both really feel. otherwise things may fester.
NOT the ideal time I know - but, you will have other birthdays and by your next one, your lives could change out of all recognition.


I hope you didn't take previous posts amiss - I wasn't making light of your pain - I just have a very weird and sometimes inappropriate sense of humour. if I did upset you - I am so sorry.

mellymoo74

You didn't upset me Meri.

He did it because it is the family way. Upset about something share the misery.