talk me down please

meritaten

tbh melly - its not surprising that he has had a 'meltdown'. perhaps he needs a 'no holds barred' screaming match to get his feelings out. I guess he has gone off to be on his and get his head sorted out.
I think I would be a bit aloof until I guage how he is feeling too. you know him best though melly. is he best left alone or coaxed into a better mood?

gettingtheresometime

Melly I know when I'm upset OH will often take the brunt of my frustration unfair I know but that's me and yes I know as he getting the brunt of my upset, it's not him that it's directed at.

When my (much loved) mil died oh also went missing turned out he'd gone to work to finish a vital piece of work. No one expected him in but he needed to do it - if only because of who he is.

Next time he blames you for something irrational smile sweetly and tell him that if it makes him feel better to blame you than to direct his anger to whom he's really angry at then carry on.....that's what oh does !

mellymoo74

He came back said nothing and has just slammed the door on his way out.

He's got several things he will regret the suit he sent back in a hiss fit as for the funeral

meritaten

rofl! sorry to laff melly - but your tale of woe is starting to remind me of the poem 'For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost' and ends 'and the battle was lost - all for the want of a nail!'. I probably paraphrased that - but you get the gist.

mellymoo74

The attack of spite is a family trait. He's back with a takeaway from the smell

Mojisola

He's probably completely floundering about.

All his focus has been on his mother and now she's gone, he probably doesn't know how the rest of his life is going to be.

He shouldn't be dumping on you but I can understand why he is - you have proved to him that you will have his back however tough things get and he trusts you enough to lash out at you.

For your own sake, though, don't let it go on much longer. He needs to find another way to come to terms with what kind of a mother she was to him and what his life was like.

I hope, after things are sorted out, that you can cut the other horrible relatives out of your life altogether.

mellymoo74

We he fed himself did silent treatment then sent a nasty text threatening to get rid of my girl dog.

I don't care how upset he is if he carries on he will be !!!!ing off. Endless support and the HSE came to work today so I have no patience

mellymoo74

Happy birthday me.

Said nothing apart from to tell me he hates me and has stomped off.
I think I'm done

thorsoak

Oh mel! I am sorry to read this. Take yourself off for a while, and treat yourself.

You knew that there were going to be fireworks and explosions once MiL had died .....underneath all the anger and vitriol that OH is pouring out, there is still the man that you love. Hang on in there, let this wash overyou, let him get the poison out.

{{hugs}}

mellymoo74

It's hard.

Upset