talk me down please

mellymoo74

Hopefully.

No 15 mins after they did the under the skin morphine she calmed down. She was flushed, rattled because her lungs were full of fluid, dad's was peaceful he was asleep the last week no pain (not concious either) this was really really horrible and my poor boy had to see it

meritaten

yes - my BIL died as he slowly drowned in the fluid build up in his lungs - it was horrible to watch. sounds like your MIL tbh. it was horrific - it was only when I read that link years later I realised the docs COULD have done something.


I don't trust District Nurses - not since I caught one falsifying my MILs medical chart and gossiping with her about her patients that MIL knew. That little madam would get nowhere near me.
not to mention that she was scathing about the Marie Curie Nurses - who were wonderful.
There is no reason for anyone to die in severe pain. I am so so sorry Melly. it must have been terrible.

elsien

He was there. You both were, and you did everything you could to give her a better end. That may not count for much now in the raw grief but it might be something for him to hang onto later. I think whichever way it had gone, if he'd been there or not, there'd have been things you wished were different - that's the nature of grief. But it is what it is, and he got to say goodbye and hear that she loved him. Hold onto that.

mellymoo74

I can honestly say that it was the most horrific thing I have ever seen.

Don't care what she has done no one deserves to die like that.

Nervous energy.

I also reminded my boy again if the last conversation and that she made sure he was there holding her when she went

elsien

Are you home now? Have a doggy cuddle if you are.

mellymoo74

I am, he's gone back to do something with the funeral home.

I might shower see if that makes me feel better. Feel sick so fairly sure adrenaline wearing off

meritaten

I know melly - I know. its exactly how I felt about MIL. and all these years later I can feel angry - but she didn't die in pain, just not where she wanted to be. FIL didn't die in pain either - the St Davids nurses took dam good care that he didn't.
BIL - I really don't know - but suspect that he was so deeply in drug induced coma he wasn't in pain - physically at least.


yes - it will mean a lot to OH that she went while he held her. and gave her permission to let go. which was the right thing to do as she was suffering so much.

elsien

I suppose he's feeling similar on the nervous energy front - keeping going because it's easier to block out thoughts if you keep going.

My grandmother wasn't in pain we don't think, but spent most of her last night night moaning and with a death rattle going on. I think the ones who go with the appearance of being peaceful are the lucky ones.

mellymoo74

Anyone know how to take a cutting from a rose? Will Google it but just checking

elsien

It might be a bit early at the moment, you probably need to do it from this years growth. Check with the gardening bit of the forum -some helpful people there. And when you do it take a few cuttings as they're not all likely to take.