talk me down please

meritaten

refused to give her additional morphine? was she on a pump melly that you can press a button to 'boost'? because if so and the DN refused to do it - I don't understand why? the patients themselves are allowed to do so if capable.

mellymoo74

meritaten wrote: »

melly - oh gawd melly - your OH must be almost incandescent with rage under his grief. I felt like that when MIL died - and I definitely didn't love her.
can you ring the counsellor he sees and explain what's happened? see if you can book him a session ASAP? I don't mean right now, in a day or so.
meanwhile, just realise any anger isn't really with you.

Yep he's going to need lots of support. He's too broken to be angry at the minute, uneasy truce with him and SIL, nephew and neice blanked him (not nice nephew)

mellymoo74

She wasn't capable. They were going to inject her last night. This nurse decided she was comfortable and would pass last night. Her last hours were really !!!!ing horrid OH didn't want me to go but I had a feeling shed pass today

meritaten

oh bu99er them - they aren't worth the air they breathe.
as long as he can maintain 'cordial' relations with SIL and Aunt (and if they are all on same page regarding MILs care that will make it easier for him) then who cares about them?
right now - he is a little boy who has just lost his mother. (be prepared for SIL and Aunt to display jealousy he was the last one to hold her - its weird what some people get upset about). just do what you have been doing all along melly. you haven't gone wrong so far.

mellymoo74

I am expecting it, because he was holding her and telling her to let go his dad and the baby that died were waiting.
SIL was distraught.
It was horrible, she fought right to the end, with neither adequate pain relief or care.

He cried all the way home, I got some fluid into him, max dosage of painkillers and he's lying down now hopefully painkillers will do there job and he will sleep.

mellymoo74

They've called him back, funeral home (I think are picking her up)

meritaten

He said the right things melly. sometimes patient fight and wont go peacefully because they try to hang on for their loved ones.


I don't understand though, why she didn't have qualified Nurse Practitioners from Macmillan or another charity there to ensure adequate pain relief? District Nurses are NOT trained in end of life care - how the hell would she know if MIL needed additional pain relief or not?

meritaten

mellymoo74 wrote: »

They've called him back, funeral home (I think are picking her up)

Is he still being included or can Aunt/SIL not cope?
they will probably want an outfit picked out and instructions as to embalming etc. surely Aunt or SIL could do that?
I hope its the former - if he feels he is doing something as part of the family that will help.
the latter can be a 'minefield' with those two.

mellymoo74

In the few hours I was there she had a nurse who was district I think who gave the maximum permitted dose of morphine, checked the pump and finally gave her some of what they had prescribed for the rattle of her lungs filing with fluid.
Home helps twice

Fair play to SIL she has already gone ballistic about two nights no night nurse

mellymoo74

!!!! knows they got nice nephew to call an off the poor exhausted heart broken love popped.
I'm supposed to be at work tomorrow (and today)