talk me down please

meritaten

I forgot to say please pass on my sincere condolences to your OH. She WAS his mother and he loved her. at least she tried to make things up at the end - by saying she loved him. and even with you melly - it seems she appreciated your care too.
Your OH must be devastated and he needs you. will understand if you are too busy to post. but, will keep checking back just in case, OK?

mellymoo74

His hearts broken. I am upset I loved/hated the moody mare x

meritaten

it will take time for him to sort out his feelings melly - more so than if they had had a 'normal, loving relationship'. Thiers was complicated. there WAS love there on both sides I believe - he should not forget that.


and you hated the way she treated him - but perhaps not the person herself? she would have to have good points somewhere.


and the little cat? he will help too - to care for something your MIL loved will help. as will the bracelet she gave him - especially if you wear it often.


I guessed you would be more upset than you thought you would be - despite feeling only dislike for my MIL, I was upset when she died - more from the manner of her death as I didn't feel ANYONE deserved that.

Waves_and_Smiles

Huge hugs, melly. I am here if you need to talk, you can always pm me if I can help in any way.

mellymoo74

She really really suffered. They didn't come again last night

mellymoo74

Aunt will be there tonight we need to get cat tomorrow I am gonna try and get OH to eat something

meritaten

mellymoo74 wrote: »

She really really suffered. They didn't come again last night

OH Melly NOOOOO! oh that is disgraceful! no wonder you and OH are so upset!
The poor woman would at least have had pain relief in the hospice or even hospital.
Whatever the woman had done/been like in her life she did NOT deserve to die in the awful pain she must have been in.
What is the matter with the medics nowadays? do they just not care?

mellymoo74

He's gone to lie down both my dogs have gone with him.

mellymoo74

One of the trainee home helps refused to come in cod she was dying.

The head if the district nurses refused to give her the additional morphine last night so she was in pain from 1-7 then when we got there she was in a lot of pain we have chased them up got some pain relief.
OH kissed her and said I'm gonna pop home mum be back later and her colour changed she passed while he was holding her.

meritaten

melly - oh gawd melly - your OH must be almost incandescent with rage under his grief. I felt like that when MIL died - and I definitely didn't love her.
can you ring the counsellor he sees and explain what's happened? see if you can book him a session ASAP? I don't mean right now, in a day or so.
meanwhile, just realise any anger isn't really with you.