talk me down please

thorsoak

My OH had the anti-emetics put into the pump driver along with the other medication. Before he was ill, he didn't like milky drinks or smoothies, so it was really difficult trying to get the nourishment into him. Sometimes he would be able to take home-made soup (leek & potato or chicken) - but the medication and the illness wrecked his sense of taste as well. At the end, we just gave him tiny little sips of anything at all that he wanted.

One thing he really craved was "a nice, grilled pork chop, with the fat nicely browned, and creamy mashed potato, apple sauce and greens". So I cooked it for him ....he had a couple of spoonsful, said "no, it just doesn't taste right" - and threw it up again. So that was that.

mellymoo74

OH is in bed he's going to become sick if he doesn't rest.
To get her home my husband (the one who walks with two sticks because of the arthritis in his spine shoulders and hips), moved big pieces of furniture and is oddly now in lots of pain.
I went over and helped get MIL clean and settled she wasn't happy when I told her I was taking OH home and he was going to go to sleep but tough.

Pumped OH full of codeine and Tramadol he is now fast asleep. I cancelled my driving lesson as I am too tired.

mellymoo74

I may have someone else's ornaments and furniture everywhere but this place is clean. 4 hours sleep and no food and scrubbing maybe not the best choice but at least when Mr OCD gets up he won't start flapping about how this place needs sorting when he can't walk.

mellymoo74

Well my halo has slipped.

Had a couple of calls chasing OH from aunt may have told her to f off, reminded her he has been up all night fir the last 2, and suggested she asked one of the wonderful ones to sit with her today while he rests.

He's just got up. He's grinch like.

wannabe_sybil

Sending big hugs. I wish I had the magic answer, but it's just the car crash of a death, a funeral and the clearing of the house. It is not going to be easy. But after that you need never, ever have contact with them again. Just make sure you keep some pictures for your dartboard.

Keep hanging on, you are doing better than I would. I would use industrial language. Good luck.

Mojisola

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Had a couple of calls chasing OH from aunt may have told her to f off, reminded her he has been up all night fir the last 2, and suggested she asked one of the wonderful ones to sit with her today while he rests.

It's a shame some of the relatives didn't start doing this years ago.

Look at how much pain and stress she'd caused in so many lives.

Hang on in there - from what you say, it's not going to be long and you and your OH know that you've done as much as you could despite the aunt.

meritaten

Don't worry about it melly - it needed to be said. If she can't get rid of him, she is determined to work him like a slave, under HER control of course! He needs his rest too. it must be eating at her that OH is spending all those hours alone with MIL at night.

mellymoo74

I am outside having a breather. Had another frank and full exchange of views prior to going round to sort MIL out.
Called to check clear as oddly SIL is unable to keep her mouth closed get a barrage of abuse so explained that I really don't care, I can quite easily stay away and allow them to take care of MIL that we were coming round now anyway and if anyone said anything I disliked I was going to involve safeguarding team so they could investigate MIL telling us about the verbal abuse.

MIL is weak, she wants OH here again tonight so I'm probably going to head home once sorted her ready for bed and watch a film.

I'm sleeping really badly

meritaten

melly - you are getting all this because they cant direct it at MIL. and directing it at your OH would make them look bad too. you are strong enough to take it - but you must 'shake it off' and not let it affect you.
I think its really good that she wants OH there at night - during the 'wee small hours' a person is at their most vulnerable - she must feel safe with him. and he can 'connect' with her. even holding her hand while she sleeps can be comforting (to the carer as well as the patient).
you are doing so well - keep looking after MIL and keep the evil ones at bay. just don't let what they say upset you - their agenda is to get you out and them in. and by winding you up they may think you will just go away?
I am not surprised you sleep badly - have you tried the 'usual' relaxation methods? warm bath, warm bed, hot milky drink?
have you tried 'visualitation' techniques? if not, I can help you there, they work a treat on my granddaughters!

mellymoo74

It means a lot to OH that he's with her at night so whatever they both need.

They lost, MIL didn't cut OH out and because I have sat and watched for 13 years they don't really know me.

I'm stubborn so this won't work.

I'm home now me dogs, couch and recorded outlander.

Yes please Meri