talk me down please

RAS

Mojisola wrote: »

Has she been sent home without a care package in place?

Frequently done if a relative or friend has indicated that they can take the patient home and patient tells the place caring for them that friends/relatives will look after them.

I found out after mum had been delivered home by two friends, late on Friday afternoon. She was supposed to have the DN in for the first 10 days. Her GP went ballistic but the hospital just shrugged their shoulders.

After the second time, we stopped telling her friends she was in hospital as that was the only way to stop her being taken home without an assessment. Cruel but as advised by her key worker.

Mojisola

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Not certain to be honest Mojisola need to check the timings/whats been agreed when I get in.

I know shes on the morphine pump and has a bag as her stomach isnt working any more. Need to have a proper look at whats been sorted.

RAS wrote: »

Frequently done if a relative or friend has indicated that they can take the patient home and patient tells the place caring for them that friends/relatives will look after them.

I found out after mum had been delivered home by two friends, late on Friday afternoon. She was supposed to have the DN in for the first 10 days. Her GP went ballistic but the hospital just shrugged their shoulders.

Surely the family aren't being allowed to manage the morphine pump? In the hospice, there had to be two nurses present whenever the pump was altered/changed and both had to check the figures and sign the paperwork.

thorsoak

When my OH was discharged from hospital to "hospice at home" all his medication was given by medicinal pump - he had difficulty in swallowing - and the district nurse came in daily to administer that day's dosage - and to tweak it when necessary to keep him comfortable. It would be noted down on his records/care plan and signed by the district nurse, and the carers would also sign the care plan.

mellymoo74

thorsoak wrote: »

When my OH was discharged from hospital to "hospice at home" all his medication was given by medicinal pump - he had difficulty in swallowing - and the district nurse came in daily to administer that day's dosage - and to tweak it when necessary to keep him comfortable. It would be noted down on his records/care plan and signed by the district nurse, and the carers would also sign the care plan.

Yep pump because it's in the stomach so she can't keep stuff down.
Nurse is coming in the morning. She's exhausted and Aunt was clearly gutted at how animated she got when OH was with her.
OH is going to stay there tonight I am going in before and after work to get her ablutions done.

She is very frail but delighted to be home.

Telling she didn't want to be on her own with Aunt OH had to promise to go back round and stay to get her settled

mellymoo74

She was chuffed I'd put the bracelet shed given me on so practical or not need to keep it on.

mellymoo74

I'm back. OH is there, he was a moody sod before he went so was a bit stressed just hoping he doesn't lose his rag with his aunt (who strangely won't go home )

meritaten

oh melly - maybe YOU can mend some bridges with her too?
I have to say that imminent death CAN alter some people radically. Perhaps (fingers crossed), she has had a 'light bulb moment'? it would be beyond wonderful for your OH if she could finally give him the love and affection he deserves?
its really sad that only on her deathbed has she made any overtures of affection to OH and yourself.
oh and if her cat loved her that much - she couldn't be all bad! cats are quite good judges of character! Selfish little bu99ers though!
Have you told her that YOU will take in cat? if she loves it, it will ease her mind.
can I just say - don't p*ssyfoot around her dying - she needs reassurance not denial. many patients take a delight in planning their funeral and choosing favourite pieces of music etc. Sorry if this is something you already know.......but some patients are totally in denial and don't want to know - while others are keen to 'organise' everything!


just seen your post melly - of course she wont go home! She must be worried sick that your OH is back in MILs 'good books'! and is just waiting for the opportunity to stick the knife in his back again.

Mojisola

meritaten wrote: »

just seen your post melly - of course she wont go home! She must be worried sick that your OH is back in MILs 'good books'! and is just waiting for the opportunity to stick the knife in his back again.

Just what I was thinking.

Aunt is scared that her control over MIL is slipping - she'll start fighting back so be prepared.

mellymoo74

The cats a lovely old stray she took in, very notched ears, couple of big scars on his face he's a darling. She let him in a really cold winter 6 or so years ago. We have told her we will have him (not sure how but we will)

That's why I'm worried about them being on their own, the only way she'd settle was if OH promised to come back round till she at least went to sleep but OH wants to make sure she's ok (and she's at that stage where it's sort of long periods of being semi-concious) so she'll wake up alot throughout the night.

I thought the fact she wouldn't go home was telling SIL tried the I'm not coming round if he's there trick again, she was told she could come round for 6 - 8 cos OH was staying with her overnight so expecting more from there as well.

meritaten

She is scared of Aunty then? can you arrange night time care from a charity such as Marie Curie? we did this with MIL. family care from 8am to midnight. then they took over. and the nurses were lovely. they would watch tv with her, chat, let her sleep when she could, she loved them!