talk me down please

mellymoo74

Ok, so not only have they removed 4 carrier bags of gold jewellery, they have also told my MIL that my OH wasnt bothered about her and then dumped her in the hospice.
OH is currently organising a bed for her in her front room and getting her home as shes asked.

He has told her that the stuff that they have stolen wont bring them any joy, she has also admitted (but he didnt record it unfortunately) that they have been verbally abusing her.

mellymoo74

I have a house full of someone else's furniture and ornaments

wannabe_sybil

Hang on there. It doesn't sound like your MIL has much longer. I wish I had advice but all I can say is that you and your OH need to get as much support as possible. The aftermath is going to be horrific, possibly for months.

I'd suggest you get as much support for you as you can, as you are the one that is holding everyone up. Grumpy and unhappy as your OH is, he is relying on you as a rock when everything else is falling apart around him.

I don't have as much sympathy for your MIL as perhaps I should, as she doesn't seem to have been a very good mother, but it must also be very hard for her. It sounds like she is reaping what she has sown, and that must be bitter. You will probably be the one picking up the pieces for that as well, so make sure you are getting food, as much rest as you can manage and as much support as you can scrape together.

hugs - it may be awful now, but it won't last forever.

mellymoo74

It's my OH I feel for. She needs him again now so is all lovely she cried when he told her that the stuff they had taken wouldn't bring them joy.
She also said that I am on the fringes of the family in answer to the nephew saying I'm not.

I am no saint as I have told OH as I am not family she won't mind someone else wiping her a rse then

meritaten

Its hard to feel sympathy for such a woman - but, it will be a lot easier for you if you dig deep and find a little. (I know its there melly - you cried for her when her jewellery was stolen). arrange as much help as possible - and decide between the three of you just who is allowed to visit, for how long and what times of day (this may depend on the hours other agencies come). to take a bit of pressure off you and OH then encourage her friends to visit - show them the kitchen and teamaking facilities and let them DO things for her. do NOT wait on visitors. when my MIL was still at home her visitors loved the fact that they could pop to the kitchen and make MIL and themselves a cuppa or a sandwich or get biscuits.
you are doing a good thing melly - it will feel like a lifetime but in reality it wont be for long hun.

mellymoo74

I did Meri, then true colours came out again.

OH currently (bless him) thinks he will get his mum out and SIL and Aunty can care for her we both know that won't happen and it will be me and OH.

I am agreeing to it cos he needs to do this. The fact he ruminated on whether to do it overnight tells me he's had enough.

She's yellow skin and bones now on the morphine so not long I don't think

meritaten

yes - you aren't doing it for HER, but for your OH. I understand that. you and OH need to make it as calm and peaceful a time for EVERYONE though. and frankly, I cant see it happening. I hope I am wrong though.

mellymoo74

meritaten wrote: »

yes - you aren't doing it for HER, but for your OH. I understand that. you and OH need to make it as calm and peaceful a time for EVERYONE though. and frankly, I cant see it happening. I hope I am wrong though.

No it won't be, tho having said that they have already cleaned her out so may well not visit.

Just another couple of months tongue biting then it will be over and I will be aftermath dealing

meritaten

it may not be that long melly - the woman is not only on morphine, but she has had a terrible emotional beating recently. it may have taken the 'heart' out of her.
tbh - nobody can 'predict' how long a person has left. she may well linger for months or pass over tonight. you just cant tell.
the year my FIL died (lovely lovely man - I adored him) he was given two weeks to live in March and didn't die until the August.
my MIL was given six months and lived for just over two years under our care. Then was in hospital less than a week and died there.
Oh, I should think they will be back - wanting to take over and get rid of OH as they will suspect you of trying to exclude them from anything which they may have overlooked.

mellymoo74

It's amazing how quickly she's gone downhill since we were ousted after Christmas.

I must be mad, I am taking a woman I don't like out of a hospice I don't think she should leave to care for her whilst surrounded by a bunch of (not animals animals are nice ) so feral scum will do.

Just feeling a bit self pitying right now. OH doesn't seem too bad today he told me what had happened at lunch and is now fine (well a bit more at peace, he knows what he's doing and why). I however am not.

Shower and need to find a way of getting calm.

I consoled myself with the thought I am in my nice (if a bit cluttered currently) warm home, tonight I will cuddle up in my bed with my beautiful husband and naughty girl dog and tomorrow I will go to do a job I am good at and enjoy whilst they are alone Do you think that makes me spiteful?