talk me down please

mellymoo74

meritaten wrote: »

Well that's a turnaround melly! wanting OH I mean - has the stupid woman finally realised that she had a an absolute gem in him?

He's the only one not out for anything I think she's realised. It was good for him he got to give his mum a hug that she wanted.

meritaten

oh melly - that will mean more to him than all the gold in the world! sorry, my eyes are leaking a bit now - I can imagine how much that means to him. Perhaps now her last days will be less traumatic for him.

mellymoo74

It did, he was tearing up whilst telling me.
He now realises her death us imminent but at least he got some affection (it's taken 43 years but at least he might cope better having had it happen)

[Deleted User]

Hi Melly, am new to the forum but have been following your story and just want to send you hugs for being such a strong person when faced with so much sadness. Your OH is a lucky man to have such a supportive loving partner.

meritaten

Yes melly - for all these years he has yearned for affection from her - I hope she continues to show him affection in her remaining time - it will mean the world to him.
This is so sad - but, many people in your husbands situation lose their parents without having even one indication of affection (and the parents even continue the abuse from the grave - leaving them out of wills etc). She hasn't done this (I suspect the lack of a will is to force the even distribution of her estate), and is now showing him affection. I find this rather strange (a bit out of character for the person you have described)- did her sister influence her a lot inlife? because she seems to have been present at almost every 'falling out'?

mellymoo74

OH has always said that his mum was fine, quite loving till his dad left then it all changed.
She had a problem with him still wanting to see his dad one of the only arguments I have had with her was my explaining to her that he was 6 so it wasnt a calculated way of hurting her but a little boy wanting to see his dad.

OHs dad always said the aunt was a stirrer so you may well have something there Meri.

Shes back in hospital, I dont think shes coming out, OH is in bits (have left him asleep while I come to work) but the Aunt did call and tell OH which ward so we could get straight up there (I think because shes sussed I will find out anyway, I have all the other times).

MIL is badly dehydrated, and really needs the fluid draining, so is on a drip, they are going to see how shes does before deciding whether to release her will know more today.


I wanted to thank you all for your support, its really helped me to be able to vent on here, it means I can offer the support that my OH (who has regressed to a frightened little boy for good reason) needs.

jobbingmusician

Sounds to me as if MIL had problems with OH when FIL left because he might have reminded her of FIL. And now, at long last, she can show the affection that is really for him xxxxx

wannabe_sybil

Sending hugs

mellymoo74

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Sounds to me as if MIL had problems with OH when FIL left because he might have reminded her of FIL. And now, at long last, she can show the affection that is really for him xxxxx

I have always said this, shes been truly horrible to him though, telling him he should never have been born etc.

Just got a lovely nurse at the hospital, she went to see MIL to tell her I was asking after her to see if her night has been more comfortable.
She says no, thats my normal MIL.
I have some good news when I speak to him at lunch now so thats cheered me up a bit.

mellymoo74

Ok, so OH has just told me something that he didnt tell me last night.
When Aunt told him the ward, she also told him to not go up there till she said.
Needless to say we are going up there tonight