talk me down please

RAS

Ruddy heck - what right does that woman think she has to decide who MIL sees or not?

Like you, beginning to wonder how much of MIL's behaviour has been stirred up by Aunt? Was it her telling MIL that OH was being disrespectful/taking sides, creating a non-existant war?

mellymoo74

Im wondering if its a SIL and aunt tag team.
I have sent my OH a text reminding him that he is lovely, loyal, kind, honest and I love him.

I have also said to him I will be doing the speaking and I am going to remind them that BOTH children need to see their mother so either SIL winds her neck in and they can both visit whenever, we do a rota and they avoid each other but the time is equal or its first come first served.

I am wondering why we are keeping everyone other than SIL, Nephew and Niece away.

If I do the talking and we keep OH calm it will be SIL who gets herself banned from the hospital if she shouts her mouth

RAS

has anyone spoken to the safeguarding team yet?

mellymoo74

RAS wrote: »

has anyone spoken to the safeguarding team yet?

OH hasn't let me, and it needs to come from him. I will assess how she is tonight and restart the safeguarding stuff if needs be. I think it depends on whether she comes out of hospital as shes safe there

RAS

mellymoo74 wrote: »

I think it depends on whether she comes out of hospital as shes safe there

She might be safe but are the contents of the house? What would she go back to?

mellymoo74

the stuff of value has been stripped already RAS. I believe that it was the discovery of this that put her back in hospital she was devastated.

OH was never bothered about the things, hes like me in that respect and he has the soldiers that were his dads and she made sure he got money, the one piece of jewellery he would have liked had gone.

We need to see if she wants to come home (and can) if she does then I will be getting the safeguarding team in.

I also suggested calling his uncle and telling him to ignore the dont come round chat but OH feels he has enough to deal with (which is true)

meritaten

That Aunt sounds a right nasty piece of work and yes, I thought Aunt/SIL tag team too. Mainly Aunt I suspect, and it sounds like its been going on a long long time. She seems to think she has more rights with MIL than her children! She appears to have a rather unhealthy influence on her anyway.


I hope she can come home if possible - I am sure that the hospital will agree its best for her.


its disappointing about the jewellery (I am still a bit peed off I never did get that cameo which was left to me), but your OH knows whats important and reconciliation with his mother will mean so much more.

mellymoo74

OH has cleverly decided that if she's still in we go up in the day tomorrow so waiting for visiting to be over then calling to check.
We had a row

meritaten

oh dear melly - was it a 'silly' row? or did things need to be said?

mellymoo74

He needed reminding that just because it's horrid right now doesn't mean he can speak to supportive wife like poo
And accusing supportive wife of not being supportive because we haven't got our own way about something may make her upset.

He's said sorry now daft sod.