talk me down please

mellymoo74

What happened was OH had agreed with his mum to come round to take care of her whilst SIL took aunt shopping.

He got there and nephew had been arranged to go (SIL doesn't want him on own with MIL)

OH asked why if consultant meeting was yesterday no one called or said SIL said you have a phone why didn't you call. OH poi nted out that he no longer does that as phone isn't answered and if it is he is lied to. Reminded them of last Fri when no one told him she was being discharged and calls went unanswered SIL screamed at him he told her to !!!!!! off and that we weren't having her daughter.

They left his mum apparently tried to calm him down.

mellymoo74

The planned lovely night has gone out the windows OH is not in the mood. The grinch(male dog) is acting up and I am fed up.

We didn't even manage to have the lovely steak OH finally got some sleep and didn't get back up till 7.45 by which time to late for steak.

Feeling tired and unloved oh and a bit self pitying.

mellymoo74

Still awake fabbie

wannabe_sybil

Hi,

I don't have much advice to give, but wanted to give a hug - you are in an impossible situation.

My view, for what it is worth, is that they are legally allowed to make stupid and bad decisions. However it isn't compulsory for you to sign up to those stupid and bad decisions.

It sounds like before all the illness this was not a functional set up. Terminal illness can make selfish and unpleasant people worse.

They are setting your OH to fail in their care and to have a lifetime of guilt. Is there any way he can access something like MacMillan for himself, to get some help? I am sure they must have seen this sort of thing before.

Sending massive hugs.

mellymoo74

I am going to call them tomorrow see if I can get some info to help OH cope.

mellymoo74

Due to mobility issues OH called MIL instead of going round today.

She has another appointment this week and has promised to make sure he knows what is going on.

Now might be the time to speak about NOK.

She is also enjoying the smoothie so much she asked if I would drop one round tomorrow.

mellymoo74

First hurdle fell at.

Appointment this aft call to OH promised no call received

He is calling now (managed to hold off this long)

wannabe_sybil

Sending hugs. Your poor DH just can't win, and it is a cruel game that will stay with him for the rest of his life. Was it always like this?

I read the post about the smoothie and I thought good news/bad news. The good news was that MIL was getting some nutrition. The bad news was that it was another excuse to getting you to run round after her.

Personally, if I was in your position, I would say stuff the inlaws and scrabble around for every scrap of support you can get for your DH - especially when the worst does happen.

There are just no winners here.

mellymoo74

Oh I'm not doing this for them I'm doing this for OH he needs to feel like he's doing stuff and helping if it means spending a fortune on fruit (and complan and milk) to get some nutrition into her then that's what I will do.

Disappointed but not surprised we have 3 narcissists and OH is not prepared to leave them to it. I personally am way past ready to leave them to it.

Spoke to mcmillan and I am calling to chase psychologists appointment for OH need to get the help in now.

atolaas

They all need their heads banging together! How you've managed to remain sane through all this is beyond me..the men in little white coats would have come for me long ago! You are in my thoughts and prayers xx