talk me down please

misspickle_2

Have the hospital put something in place with the nursing at home melly? With nurses and carers?

Why would she lie?
I'm a bit confused and can't keep up.
They take the key off him? But expect him to look after her?
What's happening with sil now?

mellymoo74

No other than district nurse every couple of days for bag

She would lie or the same reason she would treat him like crap and throw up the fact he wanted to see his dad when he was 6 and how it makes him disloyal

Who knows SIL is even worse than MIL where truth telling and sharing information that is needed t9 help people is concerned

And yes they take the key off him don't tell him anything and expect him to take care of her, and the niece and anything else they decide

mellymoo74

Sorry am angry.

Don't believe them is my problem hospitals make sure care plan is in place they don't send you home with paracetamol and a 'we can't do anything for you, off you pop to die at home'

misspickle_2

Sounds a nightmare. What an awful time
And sounds like your getting it from all angles!
Don't speak to my mother at all. Same reason. I was never forgiven for staying in touch with my dad. I was 11 :eek:
I live a very happy life without her.
I certainly don't miss her.

misspickle_2

It sounds like it will be ongoing for quite some time!
I hope you manage to look after your own health in the process.
Wishing you all the best melly.
Love to the dogs. You can't go wrong with animals:)

Mojisola

mellymoo74 wrote: »

She would lie or the same reason she would treat him like crap and throw up the fact he wanted to see his dad when he was 6 and how it makes him disloyal

Who knows SIL is even worse than MIL where truth telling and sharing information that is needed t9 help people is concerned

And yes they take the key off him don't tell him anything and expect him to take care of her, and the niece and anything else they decide

I'm all for supporting my OH (as he does me) but I would be getting very cross with yours in your position.

He is going along with their games and getting hurt again and again as well as changing your life. I'd be having a serious talk with him - the only way to get any control over the situation is to step back until they start acting fairly.

If they want him to help, he has to be brought up-to-date about all the health and care decisions and plans and be involved or told about any changes.

He has to have a key - otherwise he refuses to go.

He has to be listed in medical paperwork so that the doctors will talk to him.

If things go on as they are, your relationship is going to be put under such a strain, it might not survive.

elsien

If they are not able to talk to you about medical and discharge issues quoting next of kin (and I'm fairly sure that if MIL agreed then they could tell OH anything they wanted) then I would be quoting right back to doctor's, MIL, SIL, niece etc then you are equally not able to talk to them about help, care and support for MIL.
But unfortunately most of that will have to come from OH, not from you. Does he get any help/support with his OCD and depression, and is there anyone there who could help him see that his lack of action is making things worse?

mellymoo74

He was getting some help through the pain clinic for his back that has stopped and obviously he's spiralled.

The problem is that horrible though she is she's his mum and he loves her. After a lifetime of being told he's crap he believes it.

He hasn't got properly dressed has had a smoothie taken his tablet and gone straight round.

I don't think pointing out the inconsistencies would be helpful at the mo he believes that she will be dead in the next couple of weeks it would also be cruel to remind him of his less than 2nd class citizen status.

I understand why he's doing this hopefully that will be enough to keep me calm.

mellymoo74

I am so proud of him.

He's told the Aunt and SIL off for not keeping him informed so has told me to stay away today.

mellymoo74

Right dog cuddle, then beautifying we need some time together eating nice food etc