talk me down please

Kim_kim

Mellymoo

Did your oh send his mum a postal wedding invitation?

mellymoo74

Not sure whether we are going to attempt to justify behaviour with this but
No no one got a postal invite we didn't do them, OH wanted to tell her but she wouldn't answer the door.

misspickle_2

Sorry to read your story Melly. Sounds an awful situation.
I'm no help and have no advice but I always come back to your thread looking for updates.
Wishing you well.
SIL sounds like a nightmare. I don't envy you.
Your poor OH. I do get how he feels I gave up on my mother long ago. I had to. I'm glad I did for my own sanity. Bit different for your OH though as he is coping with her illness at the same time. Very difficult. You have my sympathies.
My mother nearly sucked me back in a year ago because she had colon problems and hospital stuff going on but within weeks she was manipulating and causing trouble so I cut ties again. I've heard she is better now they have got the medication right so I stay out the way. She has brought me nothing but misery my whole life.

But my teenage daughter brings me nothing but joy I broke the cycle :T
Good luck.
Wishing you well xxx

misspickle_2

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

My m-i-l was pretty similar, the way she treated my husband (and to a lesser extent our son) was horrendous. I of course just an add-on.

My husband felt a lot better once he accepted that she didn't love him and nothing he could do or say would make her any different. He didn't know why this should be so, but accepted the fact and also that it was not his fault. Once he accepted it, it was easier to do his duty, and no more, with no guilt.

We just took our son home if she started on either of them.

This is so true Melly.
It was the same for me.
Its about acceptance.
But god the hell you go through to get there.
Get him some counselling maybe. Its not for everyone and certainly wasn't for me but it definitely opens doors to the mind and windows to the soul. CBT is also good for perspective and changing thoughts.
Sounds lame even to my own ears but it really is worth doing.

mellymoo74

Today OH went round to check she's ok.

Auntie left her already SIL not been round odd that

RAS

mellymoo

Both of you; try and get some sleep.

Right now what SIL is up to is not important; looking after yourselves is what matters.

mellymoo74

It matters because we are stuck with MIL care tonight at least, despite not being told she was being discharged etc.

Sorry your right I need some sleep.

misspickle_2

Are you OK melly?
How are the dogs lol. Sorry I'm hoping they are bringing you some comfort. My dog always does.
What will be will be melly. Don't make yourself ill over it. You'd be no use to anyone then x

mellymoo74

They are ace porky princess is my very loving girl and the grinch is very loving at the min because I am associated with outside and that's where the ladies live. ...

RAS

mellymoo74 wrote: »

It matters because we are stuck with MIL care tonight at least, despite not being told she was being discharged etc.

Sorry your right I need some sleep.

Hi

I have been there; mother discharged into the care of friends with no care plan when she needed the district nurse for a period of time.

Can either of you contact her GP and tell them at you are unable to continue providing this sort of support, particularly since MIL has appointed SIL as NOK and SIL will not co-operate.

MIL needs a proper care plan in place and a formal assessment of her care needs.