talk me down please

mellymoo74

Right shower and bed knackered

mellymoo74

It is stomach cancer. Nothing they can do. OH is distraught MIL wants to come home

Madmel

Sorry to read this. I really think you should focus on OH rather than MIL. She might want to come home, but who is going to look after her? My money is on you and OH unless you take steps now to prevent it.

When the hospital wants to discharge her, you must exaggerate how inappropriate for her needs you and OH are (not that I think it's the case, but I don't feel that this enormous burden should be placed on you). If there is nothing that can be done for MIL, the dedicated hospital team should be in contact with you as you decide what to do.

Hope this helps and remember we are thinking of you x

mellymoo74

So called OHS Auntie yesterday she didn't pick up. Got to the hospital and MIL is being discharged I am furious OH excluded again had we not got there when we did we would have just missed her.
OH has gone round to see her I am too angry let's see how they cope without our help.
This is not MIL she is not in any fit state to decide anything the pain is to high and the person she seems to want is OH and me by default.

mellymoo74

They have decided OH can't have a key.
We have decided that the next time she falls over someone who has a key can go round

mellymoo74

OH didn't go yesterday I am biting my tongue, he needs to spend time with her so when she dies he doesn't have any guilt from that.
He's going to be screwed up anyway they have seen to that.

meritaten

oh melly - you are in an impossible situation aren't you? all you can do is ....................all you can do! what on earth do these people expect from you? Slaves have been treated better.
Do what you can when you can, and let their beetching slide off you. keep telling your OH how wonderful he is - and frankly, I think you are both saints!
good decision about the 'keyholders' - but be prepared to have that turned on you so its your fault. What a bunch of W............s!

Gingernutty

You've been barged out of their care, even though they're increasingly dependent on care.

Leave them to it.

SIL is in denial, MIL is refusing care.

This might be an inheritance thing - SIL is angling to inherit everything so her daughter gets everything, but really, unless your MIL is a multimillionaire, is any of this stress worth the money?

Concentrate on you and your family.

mellymoo74

For OH it hadn't even occurred to him.
I have been thinking I don't think it's as far along as we were lead to believe I came to this conclusion because the hospital discharged her without additional painkillers or food drink things.
Apparently she's kept food down.......

Yep SIL is angling for money as I said to OH tonight they are judging everyone by their low standards.

He called her tonight and has decided to go round tomorrow he loves her, this means tongue biting from me.

He did ask me if I meant it about the niece I have told him yes, the bank of Melly is closed for business so no 'can you just run so and so here' and no 'I haven't got any whatever can you pick some up' and no incredibly expensive spoilt niece with no financial support.

seven-day-weekend

My m-i-l was pretty similar, the way she treated my husband (and to a lesser extent our son) was horrendous. I of course just an add-on.

My husband felt a lot better once he accepted that she didn't love him and nothing he could do or say would make her any different. He didn't know why this should be so, but accepted the fact and also that it was not his fault. Once he accepted it, it was easier to do his duty, and no more, with no guilt.

We just took our son home if she started on either of them.