talk me down please

Kim_kim

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Not sure whether we are going to attempt to justify behaviour with this but
No no one got a postal invite we didn't do them, OH wanted to tell her but she wouldn't answer the door.

I'm certainly not suggesting it to justify.
But I think in his mums case a written invitation to the wedding would mean she couldn't bring it up forever more as a weapon.

thorsoak

What has something that happened years ago got to do with the life or death situation that the OP is now facing? What's gone is gone; there is little point in regretting things that cannot be changed.

mellymoo74

Thanks thorsoak.

It wouldn't have made any difference as the cause of her behaviour is her not a blumin piece of card no one else got and we didn't want to do.

Or perhaps my OH shouldn't have fought to see his dad when he was 6 as that has also never been forgotten.

Nephews are good kids I am thinking if telling them that their mum needs to get nans care plan in place.

mellymoo74

She's panicking cos she's on her own just had 3 calls in succession think we can safely assume OH is backing down on the call someone with a key thing as he has asked for his back to be sorted and is heading over there now.

I am going to bed won't sleep but at least I am trying.

meritaten

melly - hasn't her home nursing care been sorted out? why is OH having to go over there? what's the reason for this - I strongly suspect that there isn't anything wrong or anything that couldn't wait until morning. She just likes to crook her finger and have him 'come running'. and if she 'doesn't like to be on her own' - then she will just have to get used to it! her son has his OWN home. where his loyalties should lie. just like everyone else who has apparently bu99ered off and left her to it.


I said earlier in the thread that I thought things you weren't ready to hear - but I think its the right time now.
I think MIL and/or SILs illness is being greatly exaggerated. Not that they are not ill - but the prognosis may not be as your OH was told.
To me - things do not add up. like only SIL being NOK even though she is supposed to be at deaths door. like your OH not being told when MIL is being discharged. the way your OH and yourself are sidelined except when you are useful as a taxi service/babysitter/general slaves, and you obviously haven't been fully informed on MILs or SILs condition by their consultants. that no 'at home care' has been put in place. loads of 'little things'. its not consistent with my experience of terminally ill patients. and I have met many through my volunteer work with a cancer charity. I have never ever come across anything like this though. I have seen people run themselves ragged - but that was THIER doing - I have also seen cancer sufferers behave like Prima Donnas - but not to this extent.

mellymoo74

District nurse came once. Her NOK has sorted !!!!!!!! all out.
He's been in a mood all evening after spending the afternoon there so as part of damage limitation I am saying nothing.
Give up too be honest the only thing I can guarantee is that the niece is not coming here, OH can choose to run when called.

mellymoo74

I said to OH that his mum would not have been discharged if it was as described. My dad wasn't discharged until they knew I was there, he was sent with tablet morphine and a district nurse doing the hip one and a ton of the drinks.

This is supposed to mean she can't digest, yet a bacon sarnie was eaten and kept down yesterday. OH isn't ready for it yet I thought he was but look how quickly he's over there.

I believe that it's terminal and in her stomach but not imminent.

Thistle-down

I am sending many hugs your way, I can't believe all the stress you are facing.

I'm a bit confused about the niece - is she coming to live with you after SIL passes away?

meritaten

I really think you and OH should request a meeting with her consultant or GP. on the basis that you need to know how to put in place her 'end of life' care. and see what transpires. as her 'next of kin' on her notes is terminally ill and unable to do so.
they wont be able to tell you details about your MILs condition - but, should be able to tell you how much care she needs.

mellymoo74

Amazing Auntie got back today and SIL has called anyone would think they were worried about something lol

District nurse has been and have requested a meeting with the consultant let's see what happens