talk me down please

Mojisola

mellymoo74 wrote: »

We are it. The nephews are actually ok but are 26 and 22 and the SIL and MIL are shutting them out.

There's an auntie she is also in her 70s and does try and help with MIL.

For the sake of your and your OH's health, you have to spread the load.

Get in direct contact with the nephews and work out what they can do to take the pressure of you. Give SIL and MIL the option to accept their help or not have anyone helping. Sometimes tough love is the only way to go.

mellymoo74

The 22 year old isn't dealing too well and the 26 year old offers and tries to help is ignored. He tried to go with her for the scan a couple of weeks ago she left before he got there.

Marie curie are already involved I haven't been able to see them yet cos of work so don't know what level of help etc.
SIL is in denial so I'm guessing none been accepted. Trust me already tried the benefits thing SIL thinks she's going back to work.

OH still with MIL not been able to sleep to wound up.

mellymoo74

Fab he's got in in a foul mood full on row

mellymoo74

So we are in another room with the door closed. MIL wound him up and sent him home for someone else to deal with.

Really need a OH to act like a 2 year old that's been told no.

meritaten

Ive deleted three posts now - as I don't think you are ready to hear what I really think.
what I will say melly is - if OH is behaving like a 2 year old then that is because that is what his mother has reduced him to. LOVELY WOMAN! a devoted son who has done everything he can for her. and all she can do is abuse him and make him revert to childhood (which I bet wasn't a happy one).
Get mad if you want - but direct it at the right person melly - his mother!
and for gods sake take a break! I am really concerned about you and your OH. You are doing TOO much - its taking a harsh toll on you already.

mellymoo74

meritaten wrote: »

Ive deleted three posts now - as I don't think you are ready to hear what I really think.
what I will say melly is - if OH is behaving like a 2 year old then that is because that is what his mother has reduced him to. LOVELY WOMAN! a devoted son who has done everything he can for her. and all she can do is abuse him and make him revert to childhood (which I bet wasn't a happy one).
Get mad if you want - but direct it at the right person melly - his mother!
and for gods sake take a break! I am really concerned about you and your OH. You are doing TOO much - its taking a harsh toll on you already.

This made me cry. She does this especially when told no. She hasn't seen me and I have refused to speak to her so she will have said a lot of horrible things about me which wound him up.
Yes his childhood was crap, he looks like his dad and she won't forgive him for wanting to see his dad when he was 5.

He's asleep now as you can see I am not. Had a Froogle (the white dog) cuddle which always perks me up but too angry to sleep.

I nursed my dad through cancer the fact that it has been decided I am going to nurse someone who I don't much like through cancer whilst caring for another person I don't like and take in a 14 year old all without even asking me well I think you understand my anger.

andygb

lilmissreading wrote: »

On the one hand yes. On the other hand dying does not excuse you from being a basically decent human being. Any of us can forgive someone for being afraid, grumpy, snappy, tired, depressed, angry and so on but compassion for someone who has always and keeps on, flinging it back in your face it much harder to deal with as they don't seem to want compassion but your upset. Dying doesn't make you a good person or allow you carte blanche in my opinion.

One of the best posts that I have ever read on here.

Thank you:beer:

mellymoo74

That's it. All of you who have been telling me to go to the docs are right. I have been up since 6 am and it was 4 when I lay down so why am I still up?

mellymoo74

Had another day off spent day with OH getting last minute prezzies.
Back to it tomorrow OH spoke to them earlier when they asked how they would cope today he told them they should have thought of that before Discharging themselves.

Tried to get into docs couldn't get in got dogs on my lap OH gone to see some mates so I can properly relax.

Mojisola

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Had another day off spent day with OH getting last minute prezzies.
Back to it tomorrow OH spoke to them earlier when they asked how they would cope today he told them they should have thought of that before Discharging themselves.

Good for him - sounds as if he's going to need to say things like this a lot more often if the two of you are going to stay well.