Tired of being the chauffeur

themull1

I wouldnt buy him lessons as a suprise, i'm 45, never learned to drive, and if someone bought me lessons i wouldnt do it. Some people are destined to be drivers, others aren't.

saterkey

i find with my daughter, if I say I cannot take her somewhere she will find an alternative way of doing it or getting there. Is there anyone going to the wedding that lives near or going past yourselves that you can drop him off at a point and he can get a lift share with, can he lift share down and stay down there for the week taking in both weddings and then come back, maybe staying with relatives. he could get himself a bike for small journeys around home, or a moped perhaps. if you move house it will better transport links or public transport, he can get a bus pass. discuss how driving everywhere make you a bit frustrated, and ask about learning to drive, its not everyones cup of tea though. can the son learn to drive himself and drive himself to you and back or get the train to a certain point and you pick up from there. talk to him and let him know maybe show him your post so you don't talk just let him read and see what he says.
good luck

dizzyblonde82

I passed my test 14 years ago aged 17 and have had my own car since then, I used to do all the driving as my husband couldn't drive and it used to annoy me.

He did learn to drive 3 years ago aged 33 and now there are frequent times I wish he hadn't! Speed awareness course, followed by 3 points for speeding and another 3 points for speeding, then there was an accident (his fault) involving 4 cars. I worry every time he goes out driving and hate being a passenger so still do all the driving if we both go out together.

Anatidaephobia

The main issue is the resentment that you're experiencing. You need to talk to him - openly, honestly and at length (and he needs to be willing to listen).

duchy

This isn't really about the driving - that is a problem that will in the main slove itself when you move. It's more about you feeling resentful that you are having to work away and your precious time at home is shortened because of his refusal to learn to drive-which is basically just selfish of him. It's more about him ignoring the extra work this is giving you.

As for the wedding- Surrey to the Midlands is easy enough by train or coach -and cheap provided you buy tickets in advance (I used to live in Surrey -I've done the journeys) It may not be quite so convinient for him as his own personal door to door service ......but that is tough !

Buy him a rail ticket......and get the move hurried up !!

Big_Tree

Why do women complain about stuff that men have been doing for years?

Tiglath

I don't drive and never will. I pay half the car costs but only get in the car once a month for a Costco trip. The rest of the time I make my own arrangements on foot or via public transport and the occasional taxi. But then we live in London where transport is easy. If you don't want to drive him around, say No and tell him to make his own travel plans; he'd have to do that anyway if you were ill or not around.

DKLS

Stop being the Taxi driver, give him the numbers of local taxi firms, or driving instructors.

I couldn't live with someone who couldn't drive, and certainly wouldn't trust a man who couldn't drive, there is something odd about a man who cannot drive,

Spirit_2

Only read your opening post. I do not think he can be compelled to drive, but also do not think he can make decisions that place too great a burden on you. Nor would it be kind if you hold him to ransom because you 'have the skill'.

Can you not just talk about this? How often do you too and fro your stepson, and how far is it to the train station?

How many weddings do you go to? I know two weeks running can seem quite a full itinery ...but if this is a one off can you just, chill out, support him by being with him, and plan to enjoy your time away together. Wouldn't you rather have the time with him after working away in the week even if it involves a car/train journey?

My OH works away a lot, I have health issues, we both still expect to attend family weddings etc together, and have weekends away. When it is not doable, he is just flying in or I am ill, we go alone. Otherwise we want to be together. He drives most of the time we are out together because of my health, although we do split long journeys between us if I am OK to do so.

If your husband was expecting you to run him about so that he could spend his leisure time on his sole pursuits , it is fair to say no.

geri1965_2

DKLS wrote: »

I couldn't live with someone who couldn't drive, and certainly wouldn't trust a man who couldn't drive, there is something odd about a man who cannot drive,

Oh good grief. What about women who can't drive, are they odd too?

If so me & my OH must be a right pair of weirdos, just as well we are together.

Actually, don't bother replying. I've just looked at some of your other posts and come to the conclusion that you are either a troll or a judgemental !!!!!! who I shouldn't have bothered wasting my time on.