Tired of being the chauffeur

Georgiegirl256

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I disagree. We lived hundreds of miles from our relatives and, when I was learning, I used to drive the non motorway sections a hundred miles or more. It's an excellent way of boosting confidence and learning essential anticipation skills.

I'd agree if he'd had at least some experience of driving, but from the sounds of it, it appears that he hasn't even had the most basic of lessons or even been behind the wheel of a car....hardly up to driving 100's of miles.

mrcow

1. If it's bothering you, do something about it. Book him driving lessons and support him in seeing it through.

2. Surrey to the Midlands? really, that's nothing at all. Just go there (to both) with a smile on your face. What's the actual problem?

3. TALK to your partner. Building up resentment does nothing for relationships.

Brighton_belle

koan wrote: »

If I were to find a new partner would they resent me not driving.. I wonder.

Probably only if you expected them to do all the driving when you went places together.
Driving is a good life skill to have: you never know when illness may strike for example and you need to travel back and forth to visit ill family, or a partner is in hospital for weeks and you have children that need to get places.

seven-day-weekend

I don't think he needs to be made to drive if he doesn't want to. Even if he passes his test, unless he wants to drive, he won't. I know someone who passed her test at 17, then never drove, then took a refresher and motorway course in her forties, she's now in her fifties and still doesn't drive.

Having said that there is no need for you to ferry him everywhere. He could go to one of the weddings on the train. In fact you both could. It's not compulsory to take the car.

I can and do drive, but quite often use public transport, especially if I'm going somewhere miles away.

borkid

Could you check out an express coach? I've not used them for along time, 40 years, as we both drive but friends who have say they are quite reasonable. If the timings don't fit in with your work hours then perhaps your OH could go by himself to the weddings. Know exactly what you mean about being a taxi service, when my kids were teenagers all I ever seemed to do was drive them around, the bus didn't run to their friend's house!

Caroline_a

I learnt to drive quite late - I was in my early 30s. Now that I am on my own, it is my lifeline. I would struggle to work, see my children or follow any of my hobbies. I agree with driving being a good lifeskill - it affords choice for so many things!

koan_2

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Probably only if you expected them to do all the driving when you went places together.
Driving is a good life skill to have: you never know when illness may strike for example and you need to travel back and forth to visit ill family, or a partner is in hospital for weeks and you have children that need to get places.

Well, obviously if we were to go somewhere by car he would have to do the driving, as I can't! I am happy to go places by train but you know what car drivers are like, - they see public transport as something only for the sad and desperate.

I'm also not a good passenger and get travel sick in cars, oh dear! :rotfl: I think I'd better look for another non-driver!

mummyroysof3

I don't drive but as hubby doesn't cook or do much housework and I don't ask to go out in car much I think we work out ok. Was going to say also that I think he should be getting quotes and saving for a removal company for all his stuff when you move as it's unfair to expect you to move it all.

Brighton_belle

koan wrote: »

Well, obviously if we were to go somewhere by car he would have to do the driving, as I can't! I am happy to go places by train but you know what car drivers are like, - they see public transport as something only for the sad and desperate.

I'm also not a good passenger and get travel sick in cars, oh dear! :rotfl: I think I'd better look for another non-driver!

Not this car driver However, when there are two of you, it is often far cheaper to go by car unfortunately, than train.(If you already have a car and have paid tax and insurance).
My neighbours are very committed to not having a car (and they have 2 young children) and because they both feel the same, they find it no problem at all, using public transport, train, bikes etc.

Bennifred

I think driving (like swimming) is a lifeskill whch is better learned as early as possible.

I would be well and truly snookered if I couldn't drive since my mobility has become very compromised and I value my independence.

In your position OP, I would buy him some lessons and emphasise how much fun driving is!