Tired of being the chauffeur

DFlights

True, but I now feel that I can't win, whatever I do. I was made redundant from the job I moved to so found another local job, which nearly drove me insane and was incredibly low-paid, and my only option was to search nationally, and I now have a job where I work away from home and have to pay for lodgings during the week, which I do, with my own money. I think it's more the stultifying complacency over long trips that bothers me more.

Brighton_belle

barbarawright wrote: »

He may feel he's the one who has made the effort by moving to where you wanted to be even though he was going to be isolated by your decision to live somewhere with no public transport.

Yes true enough, but he's grown man not a little victim of life's cruel circs. He agreed to move and agreed to learn to drive - doing so would take a lot of pressure off the person he loves and chooses to live with who also makes his son welcome in their home.

Alchemilla

There is no reason at all that his ex should pay for the child to visit his father.

pinkshoes

Simple. If he wants to go to the wedding, HE is driving! Get a provisional licence and insure him on the car, then the two long drives will be great practice!

Georgiegirl256

pinkshoes wrote: »

Simple. If he wants to go to the wedding, HE is driving! Get a provisional licence and insure him on the car, then the two long drives will be great practice!

Not possible if a motorway is involved, and IMO too much driving for someone who has never driven before to take on regardless. I wouldn't take a learner driver too far away from home, it can be stressful enough even for an experienced driver if you're unsure of the roads/area.

savingmummy

Driving lessons for a birthday present?
One of them `learn and pass in a week things maybe?

Personally if your that fed up I`d just blankly say so and tell him exactly how your feeling about being his chauffeur!

Buzzybee90

I lived in a similar type place growing up (no public transport) and I learnt to drive at 17 - funded almost entirely by my wages so it was no mean feat but living in such an isolated location it was a complete necessity.

I live in a city now and am carless - it's hard to think of it if you're from a town or city with good transport links but if he needs to get somewhere he really shouldn't rely on you all the time.

When home I have to drive everywhere as partner no longer insured (he learnt at 17 too for same reasons!) so I do know how annoying it can be.

wapow

So in essence, yopure living with a child. Someone who would happily consume money for their own ease and gain without a pennies thought.
Sounds all too familiar. Many other threads on this front page like this.
OP feels guilty blah blah so starts to take a bigger responsibility blah and then is now tired of the services the OP decided to provide in the first place blah.
Look heres a thread ive found for ya. You two sound very similar.
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/65300142#Comment_65300142

Gloomendoom

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Not possible if a motorway is involved, and IMO too much driving for someone who has never driven before to take on regardless. I wouldn't take a learner driver too far away from home, it can be stressful enough even for an experienced driver if you're unsure of the roads/area.

I disagree. We lived hundreds of miles from our relatives and, when I was learning, I used to drive the non motorway sections a hundred miles or more. It's an excellent way of boosting confidence and learning essential anticipation skills.

Even now my wife drives us to work every day but I generally do the driving when we are in a hurry or long distances are involved, both at home and abroad.
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koan_2

Ouch! Well, I'm starting to feel guilty not driving now :rotfl:

I've never learned to drive, never wanted to. When I lived with my parents in a rural place I used to get a taxi home or stay at a friend's house. Since I left home I've always happily used public transport but I've never lived somewhere where it wouldn't be possible or practical to do so.

If I were to find a new partner would they resent me not driving.. I wonder.