Attending wedding

Gloomendoom

onlyroz wrote: »

It's really not worth making a fuss over - life's too short.

My thoughts exactly.

Tosca3

I got married in church even though neither of us were believers, both of us had been baptised.

Back in the day of 1983 it was church or registry office, no way was I getting married in some soulless local authority facility.

Some of the most mean spirited and selfish people I know are regular church goers, I have always lived by my own moral code and didn't feel in the least that I was being hypocritical.

margaretclare

thorsoak wrote: »

I believe that the rules may have changed recently, but it used to be that the Banns were called in the parish of both bride and groom - during a public service - usually morning service - on three Sundays before the wedding.

Yes, that is the case. Our vicar loves reading banns. Sometimes one or both of the couple are also on the electoral roll of another church in the area. I don't really know how that works.

Maybe the couple concerned like the 'feel' of a church wedding. All those couples who've gone before them, stood at the chancel steps, knelt at that same altar and had those same blessings. The church we go to now is at least 1100 years old. You get that feeling the moment you step through the door.

It's not a 'good way to make money'. They are obliged to marry anyone who asks, unless there is a legal reason why they shouldn't be married.

Pollycat

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

a relative is getting married later in the year. she is getting married in a church, which i dont agree with. she is not religious, hasnt set foot in a church since school days and has not been christened. neither has her fiance. i didnt think this was allowed? or have rules changed?

anyway, im not religious at all and really dont want to go to a church wedding. i cant get to the evening do cos it is too far away. i suppose i am feeling guilty about thinking about not going.

I don't think it is for you to 'disagree' with how people arrange their wedding.

If you don't wish to share their day, send them a polite rejection note.

margaretclare

I agree with Pollycat. If you don't want to go, don't go. Decline politely.

Gloomendoom

margaretclare wrote: »

Yes, that is the case. Our vicar loves reading banns. Sometimes one or both of the couple are also on the electoral roll of another church in the area. I don't really know how that works

We got married 100 miles away from our home parishes and our banns were read in all three. The two of us couldn't be in three places at once so we had to send a representative to the church we weren't attending. It was before the rule change so we were on the electoral roll for the church we were getting married in and attended regularly.

seven-day-weekend

Hermia wrote: »

If you are not religious I am not sure why you are so bothered OP. I think it's odd to marry in a church if you are not religious, but that is for the church to deal with, not me. For all you know the vicar might be okay with it. An atheist couple I know wanted to marry in church because it meant so much to their religious families. They were always honest with the vicar and he felt their reasons were honourable.

The Pastor of my former church (not Cof E or RC) loved it when non-believers came to him to ask if he would marry them. He said it gave him a chance to tell them about God .

He would also marry divorcees, taking each case on an individual basis.

gregg1

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

a relative is getting married later in the year. she is getting married in a church, which i dont agree with. she is not religious, hasnt set foot in a church since school days and has not been christened. neither has her fiance. i didnt think this was allowed? or have rules changed?

anyway, im not religious at all and really dont want to go to a church wedding. i cant get to the evening do cos it is too far away. i suppose i am feeling guilty about thinking about not going.

You sound extremely judgmental. I am surprised you were invited in the first place!

Lily-Rose_3

margaretclare wrote: »

Yes, that is the case. Our vicar loves reading banns. Sometimes one or both of the couple are also on the electoral roll of another church in the area. I don't really know how that works.

Maybe the couple concerned like the 'feel' of a church wedding. All those couples who've gone before them, stood at the chancel steps, knelt at that same altar and had those same blessings. The church we go to now is at least 1100 years old. You get that feeling the moment you step through the door.

It's not a 'good way to make money'. They are obliged to marry anyone who asks, unless there is a legal reason why they shouldn't be married.

I am with you on this. I have lost count of the amount of people who I have known over the years, who claim to be atheist, or are not atheist, but only ever go to church for Christenings and weddings, and some who even mock Churchgoers and Christianity etc.

Yet when it comes to it, many of them want to get married in Church, and also have their children christened. Some people I have spoken to in the past, claim that it's not even a proper wedding if it's not in Church. (I disagree BTW.)

It is odd and I can't figure it out. Like someone mentioned earlier in the thread, I can't fathom why people are plain and simple non-believers, and yet suddenly start going to Church so their child can go to the local Christian or Catholic school.

There really is nowt as queer as folk. :rotfl:

I certainly wouldn't say anything though, and would still go to the wedding, as lots of non Church goers have Church weddings. Odd as it is.

ska_lover

Tosca3 wrote: »

I got married in church even though neither of us were believers, both of us had been baptised.

Back in the day of 1983 it was church or registry office, no way was I getting married in some soulless local authority facility.

Some of the most mean spirited and selfish people I know are regular church goers, I have always lived by my own moral code and didn't feel in the least that I was being hypocritical.

How lovely for you, and I would have had far more admiration for your sentiment if you hadn't felt the need for the sly put down of other peoples choices as indicated in red.