Attending wedding

Hermia

If you are not religious I am not sure why you are so bothered OP. I think it's odd to marry in a church if you are not religious, but that is for the church to deal with, not me. For all you know the vicar might be okay with it. An atheist couple I know wanted to marry in church because it meant so much to their religious families. They were always honest with the vicar and he felt their reasons were honourable.

PlymouthMaid

I think it is odd to marry in church if you are a non-believer but it wouldn't stop atheist me attending unless I was looking for an excuse. I find weddings hideously tedious though.

Nicki

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I'm not sure to be honest - I know you have to live in or have grown up in the parish too or it costs a lot more. I thought this was standard but it's so rural, there's about 2 weddings a year so I doubt anyone misses out.

That's got nothing to do with the church and is all to do with the license requirements. To get married you need either to have banns read, a general license or a special license. You can only legally have banns read or a general license if you are resident in the area the ceremony takes place. If you aren't, you need a special license and that does cost about double (or did when I was getting married more than 20 years ago).

ska_lover

Me and my husband didn't get married in church as are not believers - and believe that was the right thing for us to do

We have been invited to a wedding later this year where the couple are not church goers or believers - but are getting married in Church. I asked the bride to be why they were getting married in church, and she said because she wanted a 'real' wedding and 'nice pictures'...Go figure. It is their choice but wouldn't be for us personally

thorsoak

I believe that the rules may have changed recently, but it used to be that the Banns were called in the parish of both bride and groom - during a public service - usually morning service - on three Sundays before the wedding.

Mojisola

Soleil_lune wrote: »

But I have never known a Church say you can't come in unless you have been Christened. Ever.

Neither have I - but then that wasn't what was being discussed.

Spendless

It used to be the case that at least one of the bride and groom had been baptised. I remember our vicar mentioning it to us, when we made initial enquiries about our wedding. Also, MIL was baptised prior to her Church wedding in the 1960s as otherwise the vicar refused to marry her. This is probably why your older family members are mentioning it.

It isn't the case now though.

http://www.yourchurchwedding.org/faqs/frequently-asked-questions.aspx


I'm not christened and I don't go to church. Can I still have a church wedding?"


Yes!

MrSmartprice

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

a relative is getting married later in the year. she is getting married in a church, which i dont agree with. she is not religious, hasnt set foot in a church since school days and has not been christened. neither has her fiance. i didnt think this was allowed? or have rules changed?

anyway, im not religious at all and really dont want to go to a church wedding. i cant get to the evening do cos it is too far away. i suppose i am feeling guilty about thinking about not going.

It seems quite straightforward to me. If you are not comfortable with attending, don't go. Your decision, not for others to dictate.

You say you can't go to the evening bash. I dislike weddings and would only ever go if there was a decent meal or a good do laid on. I would never consider just going to the 'boring bit', whether it be church or elsewhere. I have declined far more wedding invitations over the years than I've accepted.

I do think it's ridiculous when people choose a church wedding unless they are religious. But it keeps the churches in business. I have no doubt that many do it for the pretty venue and the photos.

hunnie

Hi,
In the past we mostly got married in churches because it was traditional. not everyone was actually 'religious'.
A church wedding does add some solemnity to the occasion. I think it is good that even those who are not religious would prefer a church wedding, whatever the reason.
If a person is not religious, I can't see why they would mind attending a church wedding.
regards
Hunnie

sulphate

FBaby wrote: »

I'm with you OP, I find it very hypocrite to marry in church when you don't care about it in other circumstances. Very much like those who suddenly find an interest in their local church when they realise they want their children to attend the local religious affiliated school.

However, that's them and I wouldn't consider not attending because of it. Family is family and you have to leave your opinion on the side for such celebration.

Agreed, we didn't get married in church because we are not religious.

I have heard of people who don't ever go to church, having to go a few times before they get married, not only do they not want to do this but they never ever attend after the wedding! I do think that's silly.

However, I wouldn't dream of telling an excited engaged couple planning their church wedding , that they shouldn't marry in church because they don't attend regularly....!

OP obviously it is up to you whether or not you choose to attend but your opinion on this doesn't matter to them so I would advise against voicing it!