Why are adults rude to kids and then expect respect?

System

Person_one wrote: »

I think you've just demonstrated rudeness and bad behaviour are nothing to do with age and are all about the individual!

Yeah it does go both ways, but I do understand why some people have a problem with teens as well as older people

wapow

never knew we had so many innocent teenagers out and about and all these mothers who feel their kids do no harm.

wapow

let me give you an example of my daily commute. here we will talk about the bus.


the teenagers do not believe in queuing up. they think its a free for all.
theyre tutting and cursing loudly anytime they are behind old people waiting to step on/off.
they seem to think that two seats belong to them and their bags.
they are usually talking about who has been with who, in a very explicit manner and rather loudly.
they seem to think the bus is their bin and they can chuck whatever they like.
they try to intimidate other girls by evil looks in packs.
they will make it blatantly obvious they are whispering about you.
they seem to think the world is doing wrong by them.
they laugh like hyenas.

these are the teenage GIRLS on the commute to work. I haven't even begun on the boys.

aileth

wapow wrote: »

let me give you an example of my daily commute. here we will talk about the bus.


the teenagers do not believe in queuing up. they think its a free for all.
theyre tutting and cursing loudly anytime they are behind old people waiting to step on/off.
they seem to think that two seats belong to them and their bags.
they are usually talking about who has been with who, in a very explicit manner and rather loudly.
they seem to think the bus is their bin and they can chuck whatever they like.
they try to intimidate other girls by evil looks in packs.
they will make it blatantly obvious they are whispering about you.
they seem to think the world is doing wrong by them.
they laugh like hyenas.

these are the teenage GIRLS on the commute to work. I haven't even begun on the boys.

Whereas I tend to have similar experiences with elderly people for a lot of those points. Not all of them, but there are a select few who always get on the same tram as me. In fact, scratch elderly people, the worst ones are middle-aged businessmen.

Middle-aged businessmen do not believe in queuing up, they think it's a free for all and will happily knock someone with a walking stick on their a*se to grab their seat first.

They're tutting and cursing loudly anytime they are behind anyone, regardless of age or gender, waiting to step on or off.

They seem to think that two seats belong to them and their briefcase and/or laptop.

They are usually talking about their day at the office in a very explicit manner and rather loudly on their mobile phone.

They seem to think the bus is their bin and will cram the paper they've been reading in-between the seats or on the floor.

They try to intimidate absolutely anybody by evil looks, especially if said person is disabled/elderly/pregnant and said businessman is going to have to move to give his seat.

They will make it blatantly obvious they couldn't give two damns about you.

They seem to think the world is a competition.

They laugh like hyenas

I could do exactly the same for elderly people, or people my age, in fact anyone.

CH27

So basically every age group has rude people :rotfl:

aileth

CH27 wrote: »

So basically every age group has rude people :rotfl:

Breaking news!! :rotfl:

FBaby

As it happens my son didn't even come to me and complain, he came home laughing that he had been called a bloody hyena and found it amusing

I think in essence we do agree about people being rude being totally inappropriate whoever they are and to whom it is directed. Where we differ is that you seem to take at face value what your child say whereas my attitude would have been that however well brought up our children are, they can be very self-centered and not always appreciate the impact their behaviour can have on others.


If my children had made the same comment, my immediate response would not have been 'how dare he being so rude, you can laugh as you wish, you should ignore people like that', I would have immediately asked 'where we you a bit loud and boisterous? Maybe he was stressed and felt a bit overwhelmed by all what was going on around him. His response was very rude but do watch when you are with your friends in public that you don't get to boisterous as it can be seen as intimidated by vulnerable people'.


My DD wants to become a doctor when she is older. The first thing she will need to learn is how to deal with people who are stressed, demanding and rude, and the way to deal with it is to try to understand where they are coming from and adapt her behaviour accordingly.


I think too many people fail to appreciate that being in a public place means a different behaviour to being at home. It drives me mad when kids run havoc in trains, people answer their phone when at the supermarket checkout, people being noisy in cinemas etc...

FBaby

CH27 wrote: »

So basically every age group has rude people :rotfl:

Exactly, so it starts by watching the impact of our own behaviour on others before blaming others for being rude when we probably are perceived just as rude ourselves.

CATS

FBaby, I love how you now seem to know what my response to him telling me about the incident was. I dont recall having writen down anywhere that I said how dare he being rude. In fact the reason I know what happened was because I continued to ask questions about what happened. My son came home and laughing said "mummy I was called a bloody hyena today by a man" I then proceeded to ask why, how where, when, what was the situation, what did he say, what did the man say etc etc. From that I found out exactly what had happened. And no, I did not tell my son I was outraged that the man had been so rude, I actually said sometimes people are having a bad day and its better not to respond and get into a confrontation, it is better to just let it go if its not harming you. This is why it isn't wise to assume what others have said and done, it is isually better to get the facts. My son is an only child and believe me I spend a lot of time educating him on his behaviour and actions, hence why I have a well rounded teenager who causes me no issues, I am well aware that is far from perfect but trust me he knows how to behave in public and at home, in fact I have always had nothing but good compliments about him, however I am not going to expect him to be the only quiet one in a group of 50 kids all laughing and talking outside their school!!

victory

wapow wrote: »

let me give you an example of my daily commute. here we will talk about the bus.


the teenagers do not believe in queuing up. they think its a free for all.
theyre tutting and cursing loudly anytime they are behind old people waiting to step on/off.
they seem to think that two seats belong to them and their bags.
they are usually talking about who has been with who, in a very explicit manner and rather loudly.
they seem to think the bus is their bin and they can chuck whatever they like.
they try to intimidate other girls by evil looks in packs.
they will make it blatantly obvious they are whispering about you.
they seem to think the world is doing wrong by them.
they laugh like hyenas.

these are the teenage GIRLS on the commute to work. I haven't even begun on the boys.

Oh my I know aileth has answered beautifully but let me answer as well as I very often (most days) go on many buses and this is what happens on my trips...

OAP's do not believe in queing, they tut loudly if the bus is a millisecond late and will push and prod anyone in their way, old or young to get on the pass and get a seat for themselves, they could not give two hoots about anything or anyone so long as they sit together (not all I know not all)

They seem to think that their shopping trolley/bag of shopping should be placed alongside them to make sure that no one has a chance to sit next to them if they are unaccompanied.

They are usually putting everyone down around them, everyone they know, their grandkids, their daughters, their sons, the man in the shop that just served them, the bus driver for not being happy enough..

They try to intimidate you not to even conceive to sit in the seat they think is their God given right to sit in...

They often ask/insist to sit in that seat and loudly suggest for yout to move elsewhere, trying often to trump you on what they have/the reasons why they have to have that seat over why you cannot possibly sit there...

OAP have endless chatter worth of what life has done wrong for them from their useless family who do not care for them to the NHS to the shop assistant to the doctor to the weather to the delivery driver...

Respect for the elders, very true but they have to earn the respect as every single age group in life has to, they have to be incorporated not exclude themselves, they have to be tolerant as every single age group in life has to