Am I being pathetic?

slightlyconfused1

If your oh doesn't "do" cards then he won't suddenly change. There is no point in stressing about it. All the cards and eternity rings in the world won't mend a broken relationship. The small thoughtful actions, a cup of coffee, doing the last night feed so you at least get some sleep, that shows he is trying.

Mojisola

CrazyAngel wrote: »

He hasn't made much of an effort to make things up to me, and our relationship is ok, but still needs a lot of work.

We have been through each others faults, and one of my issues with him is that he never buys cards for my birthday, xmas, etc. I have always made it clear that I always expect a card, because I like a nice, personalised message written in it which I keep to look back on. (I realise this is a tiny issue, but is important to me to get our marriage back on track).

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

It's not about cards or flowers, it is about repeatedly telling a person that something upsets you and they ignore it.....

This is the issue - it's not about cards - it's about something being really important to one person and their partner not bothering to do a small thing that they know will make their life partner happy.

How hard is it to buy a card - even if you think it's a stupid idea?

How uncaring is it to ignore your partner's likes and see her upset time and again?

delain

I think the OP's hormones have skewed her perceptions slightly!

I'd much rather have an OH who is helpful and doesn't do random cards than one who sends cards for odd occasions but is otherwise useless!

Mojisola

CrazyAngel wrote: »

He hasn't made much of an effort to make things up to me, and our relationship is ok, but still needs a lot of work.

Perhaps I am just hormonal / extra sensitive, but I am really upset that he didn't get me a card to mark this occasion.

The only thing he said was that he didn't get me flowers because 'I received too many from other people'. Odd point of view in my opinion but nevermind.....

delain wrote: »

I think the OP's hormones have skewed her perceptions slightly!

I'd much rather have an OH who is helpful and doesn't do random cards than one who sends cards for odd occasions but is otherwise useless!

CrazyAngel isn't getting cards or help.

MrsD2014

Mojisola wrote: »

This is the issue - it's not about cards - it's about something being really important to one person and their partner not bothering to do a small thing that they know will make their life partner happy.

How hard is it to buy a card - even if you think it's a stupid idea?

How uncaring is it to ignore your partner's likes and see her upset time and again?

Agree. I can relate to the op.

Reminds me of Valentines day just gone when I didn't get the flowers I'd been nagging for... after months of having my head stuck down the toilet night and day from morning sickness I felt it was the least he could do lol.

I was upset but not about the flowers but because he hadn't done something that he knew 100% would make me very happy. Utter git. I got my roses eventually/6 weeks later. I'm going to wrap him a bunch of bananas for his birthday I swear to god lol.

dl5543

Honey you're definitely NOT being pathetic!

COMPETITIONFANATIC

If you ask him nicely for the card You will get a card , try reading this book it will change your perspective on you relationship Men are from Mars , women are from Venus by john gray http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mars-Women-Venus-Communication-Relationships/dp/0007152590

P.S DID YOU get him a card, he is the babys father after all ??

shell1999

I must say this is a new one on me I never knew there was such a card and if there is I never got one. I did get a Chanel handbag when I had our daughter but I also go a Dave Allen video one Valentines day so you never can tell with men.

I would just say try not to dwell on it and concentrate on your baby

woodformoretrees

I think you are a bit, yes.
If you think that the health of your relationship can be measured by something that Hallmark whacks out on a massive commercial scale then the problem is with you, not your relationship.
You're focusing on cards (or lack of) as a barometer of your marriage ---- that's a system doomed to failure. Sorry. I don't mean to sound mean, but I've been married a gazillion years and know that a decent relationship has nothing to do with stationery.

Also, I'm pretty certain you can't buy a "I'm sorry our night of passion has wrecked your VJJ for the foreseeable future and given you stretch marks that a zebra would be proud of" card.

Mojisola

woodformoretrees wrote: »

I think you are a bit, yes.
If you think that the health of your relationship can be measured by something that Hallmark whacks out on a massive commercial scale then the problem is with you, not your relationship.

You're focusing on cards (or lack of) as a barometer of your marriage ---- that's a system doomed to failure. Sorry. I don't mean to sound mean, but I've been married a gazillion years and know that a decent relationship has nothing to do with stationery.

But a relationship can be measured by whether one partner is willing (or not) to mark a special event in a way that their loved one would like.