Am I being pathetic?

Tiddlywinks

Surely if your OH gives you a card now it will just be an empty gesture? There won't be any real emotion attached to it.


How can any card bought just because he has to buy one actually mean anything?


I think there are bigger things to concentrate on than this to be honest. You now have a baby and are looking at the future as parents... that is going to be pressured enough... don't add to that by expecting him to suddenly become a whole new and better person.

iammumtoone

I never got a card from my sons dad I never even expected one. I know lots of people who have had children and never heard of a card being given from the father to the mother, the only cards I know to receive are to both of your from friends and family.

I know you did all the hard work (giving birth etc) but did you give him a card thanking him to help make your beautiful baby, at the end of the day it is him who gave you that wonderful present.

I hope you are ok OP you will be tired and emotional and it is easy for things like this to get out of proportion, and understandable why you feel like you do, especially if you have been having problems, but I think on this occasion you are expecting too much from him (how would he know he was suppose to send a card when its not something that the majority of people do). See what happens next Birthday I am sure you will get a lovely card then

Blackpool_Saver

It's not about cards or flowers, it is about repeatedly telling a person that something upsets you and they ignore it.....

Big_Tree

What did you write in the card you sent him?

Tiddlywinks

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

It's not about cards or flowers, it is about repeatedly telling a person that something upsets you and they ignore it.....

It's not really the norm to get the mother of your new born child a card is it? This situation is a little different from a standard birthday or Valentines etc.


Gestures like giving a card are meaningless if there is no feeling behind them.

gozaimasu

To respond to the title of the thread, YES.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-For-Dummies/dp/0470665416/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_y/280-9825711-4206511

Read this book and work through the exercises to change your erroneous thinking patterns. It will help you evaluate feeling the way you do, and to re-prioritise the importance you attach to things like not getting a dead bit of tree from your husband.

Good luck.

valk_scot

The traditional gift from husband to wife on the birth of their first child is an eternity ring. Twenty two years later I'm still waiting for mine.


But cards are from well wishers to both parents, remember, not just to you. So it's a bit odd imho to be sending cards to each other to wish yourselves joy on the birth of your new baby. Did you send him one on becoming a new dad? And if not, why do you think you should have received a card and not him?

Valli

CrazyAngel wrote: »

We have been through each others faults, and one of my issues with him is that he never buys cards for my birthday, xmas, etc. I have always made it clear that I always expect a card, because I like a nice, personalised message written in it which I keep to look back on. (I realise this is a tiny issue, but is important to me to get our marriage back on track).

With all due respect if has has NEVER bought you cards then this isn't something he would think to do so you're probably on a loser here. You think he should buy you cards; he doesn't think to buy them. If he never bought them for you when things were going well and he was falling in love with you then it's highly unlikely he's going to start now.

I suggest you stop expecting something that isn't going to happen and concentrate your energies on a different area.

Valli

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

It's not about cards or flowers, it is about repeatedly telling a person that something upsets you and they ignore it.....

On the other hand if she was happy to accept this facet of his behaviour before it all got messy he's hardly going to realise that he needs to start sending them now, is he?

Unless, of course, she not only tells him that she expects a card, why she expects a card, what it needs to say in it and what the payback will be for him;)

CH27

valk_scot wrote: »

The traditional gift from husband to wife on the birth of their first child is an eternity ring. Twenty two years later I'm still waiting for mine.


But cards are from well wishers to both parents, remember, not just to you. So it's a bit odd imho to be sending cards to each other to wish yourselves joy on the birth of your new baby. Did you send him one on becoming a new dad? And if not, why do you think you should have received a card and not him?

This sums up my thoughts.