Am I being pathetic?
CrazyAngel_3
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I ask because I have had four and never had such a card. I did get flowers though on each occasion.
Really, this is way too needy. I've never heard of any such card.
He's a man btw. They don't "do" cards at the best of times. If it's really important, go out and buy yourself a card, hand it to him with a pen, and get him to write it. It's the only way you're going to get it done! You can't expect him to be a mindreader.
There are so many more important ways by which couples can show affection.
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."
I didn't get either, but he did make me cups of tea
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."
Some men are card men some aren't. None of my sons are and I have had to train them over the years....the eldest reaped the rewards with his first gf, he would never have bought a birthday card had I not reminded him that such things are important to a lot of women, he would just have bought a present, and, like many people he thinks cards are way too pricy for what they are.
Yes, me too. I suspect that my mum might have prompted the flowers though!!:D
All of those things may be true but nonetheless cards (or perhaps small acknowledgements?) seem important to you and so I think it's important that you tell your husband that you were a bit disappointed not to receive anything, then he gets a heads up of the kind of thing you expect cards/presents for in the future.
However, I do think that you should be a little bit forgiving for him not making the leap from birthday cards to giving birth cards - it's not something I've ever heard of before. On the other hand I don't think you are being completely unreasonable either, flowers are quite normal and if he felt you had too many, he could easily have bought you something else.
All of these things are completely normal. You make it sound like it's a bad thing!
You do sound like you need some attention from him though. Can you book yourselves an evening out for dinner? Or do something else special (that doesn't involve nappies or baby feeding!).
I have been with my OH for 19 years (and three children) now and have given up expecting him to live up to expectations in my head. He is thoughtful in his own way (and on so many levels is more caring and thoughtful than anyone else I know). But he never takes me out or does any of the traditionally "romantic" gestures off his own bat. (His idea of a good Christmas gift for me one year was a new toaster - he got an ear-bashing for that one!).
Sometimes, you just need to spell it out. Sometimes, if you want flowers, you need to just get them yourself. If you want to go out on a date, book it and tell him you want him to make an effort so jeans and t-shirt are out. If you want a card, tell him. If you want a particular gift, either buy it or write it down so he doesn't get it wrong.
Otherwise, you'll just go through life feeling resentment and being permanently disappointed.
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."
If he has other womenfolk, share the "wish I got a card" & get them to steer him towards ecards at a minimum. (They are allowed to use sticks without it being dometic abuse.) I believe moonpig also allow you to set up a diary of birthdays, anniversaries etc so they can email reminders through.
If you think he might learn to interpret an Amazon wishlist, it can't hurt but presents are a poor substitute for listening & thinking & considering. Although if he's doing none of the above, presents are the last resort of the incompetent.
You've survived this far & kept the relationship going this far - see how it goes. A card needs training. Flowers seem to be easier for them to understand. (Or perhaps florists can wring out wallets more easily.) Soon, if he changes a nappy it'll be worth more than 10 "I love you" notes, so focus on what you need him to learn!
All the best with your little one, your husband & your relationship!