Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

coolcait

Miss_Poohs wrote: »

The wheels are turning and that's great.

If your OH goes into a DMP/DAS his credit rating will be affected, as although he will be paying back what he owes he will be doing so over a longer time scale.
I think I'm right in saying all my husbands debts went to default eventually, which incidentally are now about to drop off his credit rating, although his DAS continues.

From the DAS Scotland page it says

"am i eligible to apply?
You can apply for DAS if you live in Scotland and you have a reasonable amount of income left after meeting your basic needs for example paying your mortgage, rent, utilities and council tax."
Doesn't say anything about needing to have defaulted to apply

^^ This.

You can apply for DAS if you're struggling - but just about managing - to pay for your debts. It gives you the time and space to repay without 'struggling'.

One of the huge advantages of DAS is that - by law - your creditors have to freeze interest, charges etc from the date of application.

If the application is approved this freeze continues for the life of the DAS, and the interest etc is written off when it's completed.

It's not voluntary, it's not something the creditors can agree to at first and then change their minds about - they have to do it.

It's worth thinking about.

financialdisease

Im feeling slightly more positive today which is nice

Im off out with the kids think I can manage to put it at the back of my mind for a few hours

ampersand

fd - this good to read. Have a lovely day, all of you.

As so many are posting the same things we all want to say, I desisted. This unity of general view alone must be a source of strength and reassurance for you.

However, OH must not be given the luxury of speaking alone with anyone. You must be present, for his sake, for your own, for your children, for any 3rd party present.

Bullet points should be noted and agreed at the end of any meeting, for the avoidance of doubt. This clarifies, prioritises, emphasises, sets time and datelines. There is no room for later individual versions and interpretation.

Yes, it's a whole new discipline for OH and if you remain en couple, he will eventually thank you for it.[eye-opener's posts are so good on this]

This is precisely why you must be present - to sensibly and accurately have an agreed record you can both refer to.

Easter renewal to you all.

blisteringblue

financialdisease wrote: »

This question seems completely ridiculous

should he default on the payments to show be is struggling to meet them?

Hi FD, still following your thread.

I'm just starting a DMP and had not missed a payment so it is not essential. I see he has started to speak to Stepchange.

I would recommend he sends token payments to his credit cards (£1 is sufficient) telling them he is speaking to Stepchange about a DMP and could they place a hold on the account for 30 days.

This gives you some breathing room to start the ball rolling with the DAS or DMP. Chances are it will take another couple of months after that to get up and running so a few more token payments and you are starting to default anyway.

I'm just at the point when my creditors get their first payment from my DMP next week and I started late in Feb. From not missing a payment I'm now 2 months behind, most have frozen or seriously reduced the interest (will work on that) and they have all accepted my payment plans.

Plus token payments for a few months will allow your husband to build up an emergency fund, which you will need to control of course.

We (I've done joint DMP with OH) now have a proper budget, have money aside for various bills and a small emergency fund, and will be debt free in under 5 years (fingers crossed)

Eviesmummy

I don't have an awful lot of advice for you, but I did want to give you a big hug. I found myself in the same position just before Christmas and it was horrendous emotionally.
Hubby owed approx £11,000 and I had absolutely no idea!
He's on a low income so owing that sort of money is scary.
I'm afriad to say that I wasn't as calm as you. I issued an ultimatum. WE either do something about it together, or YOU sort it out on your own, away from the family home. I'm a stickler for having all my financial ducks in a row and couldn't believe that he'd got himself into that mess without even asking for help. I marched him to the bank and we sat with an advisor who was wonderful. She worked out excatly what he owed, to whom, and what date of the month the payments were due.
I then took charge of his account. Now I give him a small amount of pocket money for odds an ends through the month. The rest I manage and ensure that all payments are made on time and that he pays the maximum he can afford, not just the minimum payments. In truth there's not a lot of difference between those two figures at the moment, but I'm determined to get his finances back in the black, then close the credit card and loan accounts and minimise his overdraft. No way could I live through the shock, and mostly hurt of that sort of revelation again.
:grouphug:

eyeopener2

ampersand wrote: »

fd - this good to read. Have a lovely day, all of you.

As so many are posting the same things we all want to say, I desisted. This unity of general view alone must be a source of strength and reassurance for you.

Yes, it's a whole new discipline for OH and if you remain en couple, he will eventually thank you for it.[eye-opener's posts are so good on this]

This is precisely why you must be present - to sensibly and accurately have an agreed record you can both refer to.

Easter renewal to you all.

God bless you ampersand, what a nice thing to say.

I hope my personal experience can help people, that's why we all post on these boards after all.

financialdisease

eyeopener2 wrote: »

Why is £700 being saved for next month? Just interested in the reason really.

Turns out he doesn't have it!!!!!

I still can't get a straight understandable answer with figures that add up to the £1900 what I do know is he transferd £600 and I have no idea where the rest has gone. From paying debts to keeping for car deposit its just all bull

Thrugelmir

financialdisease wrote: »

Maybe a wrecked credit rating would be good for him???
Put a stop to any future borrowing to gamble!

Maybe an answer however not a solution. We are all wired differently. The urge to stop gambling will require something more than just a poor credit rating.

Cottage_Economy

financialdisease wrote: »

Turns out he doesn't have it!!!!!

I still can't get a straight understandable answer with figures that add up to the £1900 what I do know is he transferd £600 and I have no idea where the rest has gone. From paying debts to keeping for car deposit its just all bull

You know where it has gone. Frittered away on rubbish and gambling.

I think your OH needs a few days kipping on a relative's or friend's sofa to bring home the realities of what he is going to lose if he persists in this stupid and childish behaviour.

He thinks he can pull the wool over your eyes and that eventually he'll get away with it.

hettiecarro

financialdisease wrote: »

Turns out he doesn't have it!!!!!

I still can't get a straight understandable answer with figures that add up to the £1900 what I do know is he transferd £600 and I have no idea where the rest has gone. From paying debts to keeping for car deposit its just all bull

Sorry FD - I think you have to face the fact that he has no intention of changing this.
It is seriously time to get advice to protect you and the children.
If, in the meantime he starts to show a willingness to sort this out then all the better.