Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

asparagus1968

wow, I don't know the answers to any of that, but luckily loads will!
glad you have had this chance to talk to him, though he still has his head in the sand partially.lets hope this will start the ball rolling.
thinking of you

financialdisease

JustAboutThere wrote: »

Its a case of actions having consequences. He doesn't have to like it, but he does have to face up to it.

asparagus1968 wrote: »

hope it went well FD.

I need to gather some guts and drive to force him to make changes, its nothing to do with fear of him but more like I expected him to behave in a decent adult manner which surly should mean being in control of his finances.

asparagus1968 wrote: »

wow, I don't know the answers to any of that, but luckily loads will!
glad you have had this chance to talk to him, though he still has his head in the sand partially.lets hope this will start the ball rolling.
thinking of you

Thank you

we have been pretty distant since its come out earlier tonight I said I am glad be made the phone call and started the ball rolling trying to show him I care and want to support him through it

eyeopener2

The overdraft will be part of any repayment scheme like a DMP or DAS.

He will have to open a new basic bank account, to make sure the bank doesn't take his salary to clear the overdraft or other credit he has with the same bank.

All credit will be impossible to get from now on, so he's going to find it tough. However, once you've accepted your fate, it's easier to deal with.

Good luck, the ball is now starting to roll..

tracie_80

It's taken me a couple of days for me to be able to reply to this thread, I really didn't feel strong enough, but here goes.

I totally understand how you feel. I have been in a very similar situation recently:( I do need to warn you of something.

3 years ago my partner admitted he was in debt for 5k - which he had used for gambling. I basically gave him the benefit of the doubt, when he assured me he wouldn't do something so stupid again. Looking back, I was so so stupid.

A few months ago I started worrying, worrying because he had turned into a zombie. I could see he was always in a world of his own, losing weight & very negative.
I never expected what was about to happen. I confronted him and asked him what was wrong? After an hour of him saying "you won't be able to handle it, so don't ask", he told me he was in debt. I asked how much this time? This time it was 76k. Credit cards were maxed out all done with cash withdrawals:(
I realised that the only reason he was telling me,was because he couldn't access anymore money! My husband was/is a gambling addict.
Since then he's joined a support group. He's asked for no access to any money and he doesn't have no access. He knows he is an addict, he can't make any promises.

The last few weeks have been hell for me. I bounce from being angry to sad. The lengths he went to hide the addiction is simply unreal.

Please please don't sweep it under the carpet, so to speak. You could find yourself in another situation down the line.

financialdisease

This question seems completely ridiculous

should he default on the payments to show be is struggling to meet them?

financialdisease

Thanks you for taking the time to reply ♥

I am really worried about it happening again. He saying of course it won't I couldn't I can't blah blah blah sadly with all the will in the world I struggle to have any faith in him.

tracie_80 wrote: »

It's taken me a couple of days for me to be able to reply to this thread, I really didn't feel strong enough, but here goes.

I totally understand how you feel. I have been in a very similar situation recently:( I do need to warn you of something.

3 years ago my partner admitted he was in debt for 5k - which he had used for gambling. I basically gave him the benefit of the doubt, when he assured me he wouldn't do something so stupid again. Looking back, I was so so stupid.

A few months ago I started worrying, worrying because he had turned into a zombie. I could see he was always in a world of his own, losing weight & very negative.
I never expected what was about to happen. I confronted him and asked him what was wrong? After an hour of him saying "you won't be able to handle it, so don't ask", he told me he was in debt. I asked how much this time? This time it was 76k. Credit cards were maxed out all done with cash withdrawals:(
I realised that the only reason he was telling me,was because he couldn't access anymore money! My husband was/is a gambling addict.
Since then he's joined a support group. He's asked for no access to any money and he doesn't have no access. He knows he is an addict, he can't make any promises.

The last few weeks have been hell for me. I bounce from being angry to sad. The lengths he went to hide the addiction is simply unreal.

Please please don't sweep it under the carpet, so to speak. You could find yourself in another situation down the line.

Thrugelmir

financialdisease wrote: »

This question seems completely ridiculous

should he default on the payments to show be is struggling to meet them?

Don't destroy a credit rating unless you really have to.

financialdisease

Thrugelmir wrote: »

Don't destroy a credit rating unless you really have to.

Maybe a wrecked credit rating would be good for him???
Put a stop to any future borrowing to gamble!

Miss_Poohs

The wheels are turning and that's great.

If your OH goes into a DMP/DAS his credit rating will be affected, as although he will be paying back what he owes he will be doing so over a longer time scale.
I think I'm right in saying all my husbands debts went to default eventually, which incidentally are now about to drop off his credit rating, although his DAS continues.

From the DAS Scotland page it says

"am i eligible to apply?
You can apply for DAS if you live in Scotland and you have a reasonable amount of income left after meeting your basic needs for example paying your mortgage, rent, utilities and council tax."
Doesn't say anything about needing to have defaulted to apply

m3kx

Nothing of use to add but just wanted to wish you all the best - been reading from the start x